10 Myths About Introverts

"They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite." Seriously? No, don't talk to me if you can't be polite.

The rest is probably true. I do hate going anyplace that has a lot of noise-I hate crowds and can't really hear if there is background noise.

@ Louise

Yes, that also was the one point with which I did not agree but I had to reproduce it in it's entirety. The rest of it is spot on.

I have always described myself as being introspective but I don't classify myself as an introvert.
In many situations, I am very extroverted..it depends on the activity.
I am guessing that many of us are this combination as well, making labels pretty much useless.

Can't one be both?
I agree with Marlene.

There is nothing about me that is extroverted. lol

I absolutely agree with Marlene. I bet lots of people I know would say I am an extrovert, but I would never consider myself one. I am almost always happier in my own company than in anyone else's.

i don't think you can be both. from my understanding its a wiring in the brain. if you get energy from a crowd or a party - your an extrovert. if your in a noisy room, party, group and all you hear is noise and you start to shut down. you have to get out where its quiet, your an introvert. if the room is really quiet and you just have to make noise, any noise, talking etc, just to stay sane - your an extrovert.

you can still be social and be either, but generally its where your energy comes from.

---Mike Savad
MikeSavad.com

I agree with Louise about the politeness, but otherwise that list is spot on for me.

For me they are all spot on, I think the "don't worry about being polite" refers to just walk right up and start talking rather than excuse me sir but could I speak with you, I love when people just start talking to me on the other hand I really don't like the polite version!
TL Mair
tlmair.com

There are a number of friends that are concerned that I spend so much time alone.

I require a lot of alone time to create....but I do need periodic face to face encounters to prime that creative pump.

I agree with Mike that you can't be both. It's all about what energizes and what drains you.

Marlene, being introspective and being an introvert are not the same thing. Introspection is a state of self-awareness, which one can have while enjoying social situations. Introverts prefer their own company to the company of others. I would say that most introverts, if not all, are introspective. Most extroverts are looking for a distraction from their own thoughts.

I enjoy small social situations, where the conversation generally travels along a mutually introspective point of view.

Joe Burgess
jb-imagery.com

I am about as introverted as a golden retriever puppy....

OK, then...by Mike's and Joe's definitions, I am definitely an introvert. I wonder if most artists are...?

Joe, reread my first line I never claimed they were the same...I made a clear distinction. ;

You're right, Marlene. I guess I was responding mostly to your last line in that the "introvert" and "extrovert" labels are two very real and distinct camps. The fact that you might be an introspective extrovert does not break down the theory.

Joe Burgess
jb-imagery.com

no, it doesn't break down the theory..But, keep in mind that a theory, by definition is a supposition.
THEORY
noun the·o·ry ˈthē-ə-rē, ˈthir-ē

: an idea or set of ideas that is intended to explain facts or events

: an idea that is suggested or presented as possibly true but that is not known or proven to be true

I'm an innate introvert, who refuses to submit to my tendency to withdraw, so I act a lot like an extrovert, at least at times. How can you tell the difference:
What, primarily, recharges your batteries? Time alone or time with others?

Yes, when discussing matters of psychology, intuition and personal preference, it's all theory. That's what makes it such a fascinating topic. It's an introspective exploration of self, which can never be proven or dis-proven. Only observed.

It is factual however, that some people generally report being drained by the noise of others, and some energized by it.

EDIT: Of course, as always, there are the gray areas, but we are discussing the two extreme points of reference here.

Joe Burgess
jb-imagery.com

i think the really successful artists - are extroverts. they have the energy and drive to convince people their art is good, or at least won't run screaming from a room when they have to schmooze with people.

extroverts get confused and think that they need their quiet time and label themselves as both, but you can have quiet time - but how long can you stay quiet?

when i worked full time i remember a co worker asking me - "mike, what's wrong with you? why don't you like going to parties?". and all i could do is give her a dead stare until she went away. she was an E, fully E. so much so that she thought anyone that was quiet was shy, or there was something wrong, or i was sad, or not feeling well etc. it was silly.


another test:

your at work, you have a cafeteria there (school counts too). are you

a. sitting alone or maybe with 1-2 friends?
b. sitting with 12 other people on a table that supports 4?

at work there would be these clusters of people sitting in like suckling pigs, pretty much testing the weight capacity of these, rather small picnic tables (like 3' wide on the bench), 3 behinds on that one row, 4 sides. it was amazing they could move their arms at all. and during parties, many would want me to sit with them thinking it's lonely to be all alone on that nice large roomy table where i can actually breathe. it became so much of a problem that i would grab the grub and run to the car.


---Mike Savad
MikeSavad.com

I'm about as introvert as introvert gets. I don't mind the company of people I know and like in small doses but other than that I prefer to be left alone. The list describes me pretty well.

however i have found an interesting phenomena. introverts attract. like a magnet, i don't know how it works but some how we tend to cluster together, or are assigned together or what have you, its a strange force.

---Mike Savad
MikeSavad.com

I made a self portrait sketch that shows how people that don't really know me tend to perceive me, especially at work.

If you look up introvert in the dictionary you will see my picture.

Thanks for sharing, Allen

Spot on here too. Except of course for the 'don't worry about being polite.'

That part ought to be re-worded to read something like;

'If you want to talk to an introvert, just start talking. If they want to talk with you, they will. If not don't take it personally.'

Too bad the word introvert has such a negative connotation !! I wouldn't change being one for the world. I have much more fun than folks realize..

i'm an INTROVERT who loves to PARTY and an extrovert who likes being alone...

well said, Ed! Talk about blurred lines!!

That article is spot on for me. It took me a year before I started participating in the forum here. I have exactly two "real world" friends (I used to have three, but one left prematurely - may she rest in peace). I have a few people here I consider friends and interact with via internet.

My husband and I had friends that had parties every other weekend. It got tiring. I finally got to know their family members but a lot of the other people who showed up kept taking about their mortgages, their 401 Ks, their retirement funds, their newest car.....all I could think of was "DEAR GOD GET ME OUT OF HERE".

There are several personalities here on these forums I think I could be friends with. None of them appear to me as "normal". I don't really like "normal" people. My parent's friends were so "normal", I couldn't stand to be in the same room with them.

I think a lot of extroverts want to be the center of attention (not all, please don't send me letters LOL). Some of us just like to be alone and not put up with the bull.

Lol. speaking of "not normal... " I think I am a bi - polar vert.

Do you know the difference between an introvert Finn and his extravert counterpart?
Well, if you chat with an introvert Finn he will look at his shoes while talking.
While the extravert will stare at your shoes.

I can "switch it on" when I need to. Parties exhaust me. They don't terrify me, I just find them to be very draining. Same way with having to speak or interact a lot at art shows and other events. When I need to, I can speak to groups and even be the center of attention. I don't like it, I'd rather stand in a corner and people watch quietly, but I do it. And I think I'm pretty good at it. I always feel super awkward when it's happening, but afterwards people tell me how much they enjoyed the talk. Go figure.

But after an event I just have to go be quiet and alone for a while. Same thing with visiting family for the holidays or whatever. I need a couple days of peace and order to recharge.

I've been an introvert my entire life. There were people shyer than me, but I was the most well-known shy person in my high school class and voted shyest girl.

Yes, my picture is there along side the other senior superlatives. I immediately cut out that photo of the shyest boy and me standing back to back from my yearbook. So if my kids ever want to see it, they will have to visit the history room in the library.

Back in those days, I had a small circle of friends. I still do.

I don't like being in a large room with crowds of people.. I will find my table and stick to it. Within my smaller group at that table, I am comfortable, confident and friendly.

I'm in no way as introverted as I was once in my younger days. Marriage, children and years of work gave me the confidence to speak up.

I don't mind being alone. I'm never bored. I don't need to be entertained nor do I need attention to make me feel good. I know what I like and act upon my feelings.

People who are ON continuously annoy me. Some people just can't be quiet for more than a minute. Constant chatter in a vehicle drives me more batty than traffic. Quiet means content and at peace.

Don't ask me to join you with my camera. I prefer to go alone since I am apt to go off the beaten path.

bipolarvert! LOL

Hi Allen.
I'm an introvert, too.....can't ya tell.....I sat for hours by myself,creating noise...............without uttering a words to anyone....bitrovert, that's me...



Forget it...I'm an ambivert, and going back into my shell....

The funny thing about most of us here who consider ourselves Introverts is - we are all always here chatting !

Maybe due to the fact that we can pop in & out at will, &&&... we are not distracted by the visual aspects of others... we find it so easy to engage.

I have a hard time listening to people when I am face to face with them, I am easily distracted by the flecks of color dancing in their eyes.

I am friendly and chatty when out and about. But when I am home behind closed doors, the door is closed.

Lol. I loved the analogy of the shoes. When I used to sell Real estate I could match up buyers to houses by their shoes. People's shoes tend to tell the truth about the lives they lead.

Janine, I agree it is sometimes easier to have a conversation online than in person. It is also easier to shut down the monitor than to walk away from a live person talking to us.

Based upon my past experiences, any of the people I met from online weren't that different from the personalities exhibited by their words. It felt more like a bunch of old school chums having a reunion.

I think many of us would here be cordial to our clients or strangers greeting us.

I guess it is possible to be both according to a few websites I searched, Here's a quote from one...

"But in reality, few of us fit neatly into either of these personality types. And for those of us who are truly in the middle of the introversion/extraversion spectrum, there's a name, too. Psychologists refer to such people as ambiverts, meaning that we express qualities and behaviors of both introverts and extraverts, depending on the situation."

I feel like the more time I spend around people the more I feel extroverted. Like when I had customer service jobs I would act all perky and smile a lot and automatically started feeling more social. Now that I am at home a lot, I feel afraid of social situations- and super shy- and overthink everything.. Basically the more exposure I have effects my personality.

As I age I realize I'm more comfortable in my own company doing my own thing without expending the energy it takes me to be extroverted. Ugh! The drama.

I don't know anymore. Definitely as a kid I was shy and introverted, but functioning in life and being successful requires you to overcome this nature. So even if self-imposed, you change. I definitely do draw energy from my crowd. It's my job as boss to make things happen.

But in creating art then I still draw my energy from being alone with my memories and not physical beings.

So isn't it possible to be be both just simply by what your focus is? If I have to get the crowd going my focus is extroverted and you chameleon to that personality, if the focus is getting you going you adopt the introverted personality.

I'm not convinced that circumstance not personality trait determines this. Same as if you're a night owl or day person it pretty much depends on circumstances. Even if you have a natural preference, circumstance only has requirements.

-- mary ellen anderson

Dave King, that image is pretty awesome!

No one believes I'm an introvert except my immediate family and they worry that I'm too alone, but I've never been lonely a day in my life. I love being alone and am so jealous of people who get to spend the holidays alone with no worries of who is going to get upset because you didn't pay attention to them. Crowds take my energy away and aloneness gives me back energy to heal. Since I've never been shy, people see me as a socialite and very comfortable with people, which I am, but I'm an excellent actress too. Most of my closest friends are introverts because they are so much more interesting to talk with and they share that unlovable feeling for crowds and needy people.

I am an introvert as well and I say the article is spot on. Only I don't like rudeness. Being on here is easy. If someone is rude I can go somewhere else. In real life the offender is standing in front of me not a comfortable situation. My mom always asks me if I have a significant other yet and my reply is 'you have to go to this place called outside first'.

I guess all the introverts here, true or fake, who are regularly online, are in fact wannabe extraverts.

How about this thought:?

" Introverts have to be in control"

When they are in control, they become Extroverts

When they feel they are losing control, they turn to being an Introvert.

Where its only themselves they have to answer to.

Nossir, not true for me. Its just in my dna to be introverted.

Pretty much all those myths apply to me but do not define me. But please be polite. Very polite.

I didn't expect to so many introverts as myself. I assumed they were all shy people or were at least shy as kids like I was. I had mainly introvert friends growing up but did have some extrovert friends who liked me. Some extroverts look at you like your weird and it is a choice you have made. I had seen an interview with Van Morrison a few years ago which was really interesting. I am a big fan and even more now.
''I'm an introvert in a business of extroverts.'' He says. I can see how difficult this could be since I chose a profession that I did not have to be around a lot of people.
There is a link to the Van Morrison interview in this article also.
http://stevehawley.blogspot.com/2010/04/silence-of-van.html

Thanks for the article Allen it is right on.

As with just about everything in life, this is a spectrum. Total extrovert on one end, total introvert on the other. Almost everyone will fall somewhere in-between the two extremes.

Very true, Cynthia. And just like most things in life, if you draw a line down the middle of the spectrum, everyone will fall to one side or the other.

Joe Burgess
jb-imagery.com