Stepping back when you feel unbalanced

Ever since I have been posting work online to sell, I have felt this pressure to constantly be on line either posting work or checking my visitor stats or going out with my camera on weekends when I don’t feel like going out with my camera.

Don’t get me wrong, I love capturing a beautiful or at least interesting image and photography is still my main preferred art form, but something seems out of balance right now and I have to step back. Unlike a lot of people selling art online, I do have a full-time non-art related job. I started doing the online thing seriously, however, to try to make some extra money upon retirement, which is not that far way for me in the relative term.

The photo work has not become stale for me. I still love finding a great subject. I still like editing my image to a final, professional state. I still like up-loading it and seeing it in my gallery. And it’s gratifying to receive positive comments.

The last few months, however, I’ve been feeling a bit unbalanced. I went to the craft store last weekend and bought some yarn and I have been knitting for a few days. This is an activity I have spent many, many hours doing since my college roommate taught me how to knit 40 yeas ago, and is part of my psyche - it’s necessary for me to do it as much as my camera is always with me when I’m not at work.

My brain seems to be balancing out now. I have pulled back from obsessively viewing my visitor stats, and constantly checking discussion threads. I will still participate, but any time you feel unbalanced, it’s time to pull back and look to try and figure out what’s “tipping you over”. In my case, right now it seems to be my constant mental pressure to produce work.

I had a dream last night that I had a bunch of uninvited guests in my house at night when I was trying to sleep. They were having a party. There were three or four televisions running in the room (supposedly my living room) and I kept trying to turn them off. No matter what button I pushed or what remote I used, there was at least one television I couldn’t get to turn off. It was extremely frustrating, I just wanted to “unplug” and be left alone.

So, I am taking a few weekends off. I visited a friend yesterday and purposely didn’t take my camera. It was a gray day anyway, and I only wished I had my camera briefly when I was looking at her garden. Otherwise, it was nice not to be “on” for a change. I needed that.