Ask Gershwin

Does the Imam who wants to build a new mosque in Manhattan think the 911 terrorists are in heaven or hell?

is gershwin in a brown paper bag for the same reasons that certain, questionable literature is mailed in a brown paper bag?

how does shit smell in that brown bag?(lol iyc -if you can) (edited)

Tony, The Imam understands that there are some radicals in any faith, and he knows it is not for him to judge if a person is in heaven or hell.

Marlene, The brown paper bag is to conceal the handsome face of Gershwin, so that he will not be attacked by young ladies.

Viet, This is a question only your momma can answer.

Your answer is "bullshittingly" void since you have advertised your free service as "The all knowing - all seeing Gershwin has an answer for you." I'll take this customer's complaint to BBB for revoking your business license (lol)

If that is true, why are some "Martyrs" guaranteed heaven ? Wouldn't that be a bit presumptuos?

What about Mrs. Smud ? Is she an " Old Bag " ???

Indeed, she is an Old Bag, and he is a satchel...

Mr. Smud, or can I just call you Gershwin, I notice a similarity in the tonal texture of your bag to the once infamous Unknown Comic. Was he your father?

Did you ever consider trading your "paper" head bag in for a "plastic" bag?

"Now all your questions can be answered by simply asking Gershwin! Any question, any topic."

Hummm! After my first failed question, I feel the challenge to take a second bite for the interesting invitation. Then, my next question for "The all knowing - all seeing Gershwin" is totally generic. Just for fun, pure fun, and no-ill intention toward any specific individual-currently-hidden-in-a-brown-hood.

Can a new BBB (not short for the Better Business Bureau - but for Bullshit-Brown-Bag) club be formed for the replacement of the outdated KKK?

Again, to avoid misinterpretation and also for clearer clarification, I'd like to confirm that the above question is very generic and doesn't carry any bad message under it. I formally declare that I have made this statement as if I did it under oath (lol).

where are my buyers hiding?

Tony, " Why are some martyrs guaranteed Heaven", The guarantee is only as good as those who offer it. It remains to be seen if murders arrive in heaven.


Mel, Mrs. Smud is definitly not an old bag, - its just that she wears a sack dress when out in public.


Anne, Thank you for the compliment, but that is not a question.


Mark, If the unknown comic was my father, that fact is still unknown. The last I heard about the unknown comic, he was sacked in a football game.


Rich, If you are asking 'paper or plastic,' I suppose I will stick with paper. Plastic seems to artificial.


Viet, The Great Gershwin answered your first question. You have a right to remain silent. Anything you say will be held against you.


David, Your buyers are just out of site. Every work of art has a buyer, - it is a matter of time getting the two together. Gershwin sees a buyer crossing your path before the next full moon. Embrace a stranger with a sack full of cash.

Regretfully removed by Viet Tran for acknowledgment of a moment of his poor judgment and childish reaction. His apology is sincerely offered to Mr. Smud and extended to other artists who may feel offended from his post.

=)

If a man is alone in a forest when he speaks and no one hears it...is he still wrong?

If a woman is alone when "Aunt Flow" comes to visit...will she still act like she is possessed?

Rumour has it.....   ;)

hahhah carmen! you made my day!

gershwin.....is it true that fruit ripens faster inside your bag?

Angelina my dear child, A man alone in a forest speaking with no one listening to him is much like a married man. He speaks, no one listens, yet in his heart he knows he is right. He is just afraid to insist that anyone agree with him. ----- Regarding Aunt Flow, The Great Gershwin is much too wise to touch that with the proverbial 10 foot pole.


Carmen! Heavens to Murgatroid! It looks like poor Smud has gone all to pieces.... he is beside himself!

S'okay...just get Gene Gregory to draw him up another :)

Marlene, Gershwin is doing a study on that subject as we type. We are testing 2 fruits in a bag, and 2 on a table. We think we smell something rotten.

The answer to your question is: http://www.rotten.com/ n'joy!

Viet, Thank you very much my friend. Gershwin wishes you to live long and prosper!

I really appreciate your kind response to my official acknowledgment of my tasteless reaction in my former post. Love is much better than war - even the war of words, my friend. Thank you kindly again for our good relationship, buddy.

Milija Jakic!!!! What a truly HORRIBLE site :O I was on and off it in 5 seconds LOL

Gershwin.... What time will it be when it is 5 minutes after the time I thought it was earlier?

I have a question for Gershwin
What the hell are you doing with my brown paper bag?

*sprays tea over her screen again*

Have you ever hyperventilated while wearing the brown paper sack? Did you take it off and "use it" to catch your breath?

I've been thinking of asking the Wizzard of Odds but I'll ask you first Smud:

Are mean ugly people the result of inbreeding and do you think that these traits can be genetically bred out in favor of offspring that gradually gets sweeter and nicer with each generation thereby ending human conflict?

Mr. Smud has asked me to relay this information while he meditates on the porcelin thrown.


Beth, It will be exactly 10:37pm.

Mario, ......... It must be my long lost twin-bag..... They say everyone has a look-a-like!


Beth, ..... No, Tea is not the best screen cleaner.


Steve,..... Yes, the bag comes in handy for many things. Banks are the only ones who really give me a problem when I walk in with my sack on.


Snake, .... yes, These traits can be genetically bred out of people. Just look at Beth, Angelina, Marlene, etc. They were once mean people, but through the years, they have become all full of sweetness and stuff.

LOLLLLL

Oh amazing Gershwin, this is similar to Angelina’s question of which you so wisely answered with your great wisdom.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around will a woman still say it was a man’s fault?

Dear Gershwin, do washing machines live mainly on socks or why is my collection of single socks growing and growing?

And how about this: Why does the alarm clock snooze button give you nine extra minutes, not ten?

will i meet my future husband when i am a junior and get married and have 8 children?

oh wait, that question was for the ouija board back in the early 60's.....

Mark, Of course, ... and the woman would be correct. It was a woman who sent the man to the forest to get firewood.

Barbara, Yes, many washing machines love socks. Socks are always in danger, but if you pin them together before washing, that is practicing safe socks.
When Professer Snooze invented the Snooze alarm, he discovered that if you were expecting 10 more minutes of sleep, you would fall into a deeper sleep. And when the alarm finally woke you , you would slam the annoying clock into the wall.

Marlene, Gershwin is happy that you are smarter than the ouija board.

i threw it out.....and did not allow my kids to use one within an inch of their lives.
8 kids....sheesh. 2 was plenty!

42

BRILLIANT! Oh, wise one of wisdom.
I know while most are pondering whether or not to ask, which came first, the chicken, or the egg. I feel that that is preposterous and irrelevant, either only matters about how their cooked.
So Great Amazing Gershwin, what I really want to know is who was really hotter, Ginger or MaryAnn or even Daphne or Thelma?
I was always partial to MaryAnn myself.
In addition, Marlene, I only have one child, the thought of 8 almost made me schedule a vasectomy!

Tony my son...... The product of 6 times 7.


Mark, you are a man of great wisdom. You have choosen correctly. MaryAnn does it for the Great Gersh!
Speaking of vasectomies, I must relay a true story. After having 9 kids myself, I choose to get a vasectomy because I was uneasy about the 10th. I had read that one out of 10 children born in the USA were Mexican, and neither me or my wife could speak Spanish. It would have been a communication problem.

Why does my nose run while my feets smell?

Why does tarzan have no beard?

Why can one not lick himself at the elbow?

Thank you in advance oh big Gershie, your answers will help me understand some unsolved secrets of life.

Barbara my child, Truelly good questions, and only the Big Gershie has the answers.

About the nose running: Gershwin Nose that it has to do with a coming Nose race... They will all be running. And by the way, If my nose was running money, I'd blow it all on you. The feet smell so that you can be tracked down when you wonder off of the path of life.

Tarzan has no beard because he goes each morning to the barber shop at the corner of Jungle & Vine.

The licking of the elbow? Gershwin can do that, and assumed everyone else could?

Gershwin my child............you of course mean "Product" not "Sum".

Did you not see "Hitchikers guide to the galaxy?. The ultimate question?

One of my favorite books! =)

Gerswhin, when you can't decide if you love or hate a piece of art you made...what do you do? =P



You do make art right?

Angelina my daughter........ When you have the chance to choose between love and hate, choose love. When I can't make a decision, I wait. Put a work of art away for a few months, then you will have a more clear view of it.

Untitled is a very interesting work!

=)

I already decide. I like it but not enough for an individual work of art. I think I will keep it as a background for something in the future...=)

I try to choose love...but I don't always succeed.....=P

Oh Amazing one, I have more questions today.
Why do so many people on the discussion boards ask questions instead of consulting with you?
Let’s face your more entertaining and philosophical then a magic eight ball. This is the most fun I've had at work in a while.
While am at it I have another question. Having grown up watching slapstick comedy like the 3-stooges, nakedgun and such, I have a strange since of humor. There are times that I want to say things but I’m afraid of offending people. For instance there is a thread about shooting animals, I know it is about photography but every time I see it I want to respond with” Why yes but shouldn’t everyone always eat what they shoot”, I know poor taste hunting joke I thought it was funny.
If I did this, would Peta send me hate mail and throw things at me at public events or should I just keep refraining since although I at anilmals I don’t really hunt and keep my mouth shut?

Mark, It seems very normal to me to eat what you shoot. I like your sense of humor. Tell Peta, and everyone else, that you and I went to the Don Rickles School of Charm and rare Humor. Keep up the good work, and keep laughing.

@Beth: I realy don't understand why you think that site is horrible? It is well organised, all links are working propertly and all pictures are clear...

My question for Gershwin is: How do some people put that question mark sign in the black squere in their posts???

After a while it turned out to be a funny thread.

Big all knowing, all seeing Gershwin ... Why oh why is it so off to eat fish with apple sauce?

My question of the day is: Why is there no cat food with mouseflavor?

my question of the day is why hermorrhoids aren't called asteroids?

Marlene- ROFLMAO
some hard nuts to crack here for Gershwin. I look forward his answers.

gershwin will undoubtedly come up with some brilliant answers...isn't that why we pose the toughest queries to him, afterall?

And Why for crying out loud, Does one drive on the Parkway and park on the driveway????

and why is it a PAIR of panties and only one bra?

To be sure... Why do we remember what we need to forget, And forget what we need to remember??

Looking at the name "Smud" mud spelled backwards is interesting. This could reveal who Gershwin really is. I think he's a member of the Society of Noatallis. An elite sort of "Monsa" organization. The only thing is there are none in the Society of Noatallis who claim to have a German heritage as Gershwin has.

i bet gershwin is sitting in front of a magic eight ball right about now...

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Why is the Moon geosyncronis?

Why would anyone buy a hot water heater?

Oh Great Gershwin!!!!.... Where are you????


We need Wisdom!!!

Oh great amazing Gershwin, noting that you are of German heritage, and my birthday is October I must ask these following questions.
I owe my love of beer to my own German – Irish heritage, some French and Seminole in there too but don’t mention it I might have questions involving those later. As any beer lover who loves a celebration involving beer bequeath me your wise knowledge and wisdow.
What is the best way to celebrate Octoberfest?
What is the best Germany beer and food combination to partake during Octoberfest?
Finally yet importantly, should I wear lederhosen and if so where can I buy me a style-in pair?

My mind is a sponge waiting to soak up this knowledge.

Milija - ??? ???? ????? ????? ?? ???? ???.

Christine - I think apple sauce goes very well with fish.

Barbara - "Why is there no cat food with mouseflavor?" It is the same reason that there is no dog food with cat flavor.

Marlene - "my question of the day is why hermorrhoids aren't called asteroids?" It has to do with the samething "Mooning & shooting starts"

Dan - We drive on a parkway, because if we parked there, someone would run over our 'R-Soul'

Marlene - " why is it a PAIR of panties and only one bra?" - Remember, there is only 3 kinds of people, - those who can count, & those who can't.

Tony - "Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? " Because it expired 3 years ago.
.............."Why is the Moon geosyncronis?" It has to do with Marlenes Astroids.
.............."Why would anyone buy a hot water heater?" Only those who are not dealing with a full deck, will heat their HOT water.

Mark - The best way to celebrate Octoberfest is to eat, drink, and be Mark! You should definitally wear Lederhosen, and you can order them at JumboLederhosen.com

Definitely ... your answeres lack depth, Mr. Smud, but thanks anyway :-)

Mark, Oktoberfest goes well with fish on a bed of apple sauce, especially when you had a lot of beer with it and your body gets rid of the mess.
I recommend "Warsteiner" Bier, but you'll have a hard time to find it on the Oktoberfest.

Ask Gershwin, Milija will answer...

The best Germany beer: Guinness

Hey Gershwin that is not an answer, that's just a bunch of question marks sings but noone in little black squere box rotated in 45 degrees? C'mon, Mark do it all the time. And few people more. How do they do it?

Tststststs, Milija "The best Germany beer: Guinness" ...
Guinness is an Irish beer. Last time I checked Ireland was not a part of Germany. It's still a good beer though. :-)

What's "question marks sings in little black squere box rotated in 45 degrees"? I've never seen one ... can you show it to me, please?

Oh great Gershwin......will I win the lotto so I can quit my job and paint 'n play all day?

I see Mrs Smud tore up your sacks.....how many pair of sacks do you have?

!. yes, you will.
2. I don't know.

Ststststst, Christine. next thing you will say will be that Germany is not a part of Lithuania?

You don't say that you don't see them? Maybe only I can see them. Way cool! If anybody else see them please show! It will take few minnuts to download some screen capture program and to capture, then I'll show...

Mark, the best way to celebrate Octoberfest is doing it in October. But you have to book a Hotelroom 2 years bevore you go to Munich. Otherwise you have to sleep on a campingground with a bunch of crazie drunken Australiens or Italiens, what can be funny, but don't fell asleep drunken like a sailor, they'll try to wake you up with a jumper cable, wich means you WILL jump :-) Honestly I have seen such things.
Wear lederhosen. Drink Paulaner Bier as much as you can. It is a bavarian beer they serve on Octoberfest. BTW I guess it's the only beer an american can bear. Sing along the whole bavarian songs, ooompapa oompapa, be nice to the madels. Eat Brathendl, Weisswurst and Bretzel with sweet mustard. After you finished eating take a ride on the worst rollercoaster you can find.....
Gershwins answer is good as well!

Alrighty then Guinness and Warsteiner , it would make one hell of a black and tan I guess.
Oh great Gershwin if I wore my kilt and my lederhosen at the same time would people make fun of me?
Oh and last but not least, what brand of applesauce?
Well off to the store I go for beer and applesauce.

Why thank you Barbara, it sounds like you speak from experience. I hope it wasn’t you that wound up on the wrong side of those jumper cables.
The hanging out with a bunch of drunken foreigners is nothing tho, I’ve done that before.

You can see them now? This post is full of them!?

They don't appear on my screen
The prize is really cheap I'll have one of that image

Elizabeth - The way to win the Lotto is to go to Austrailla the day before the lotto.... That way you will be a day ahead, and know what the numbers were.

Mark - If you go out wearing only a kilt and lederhosen, I am sure no one will laugh or make fun of you.

I'll let you buy one, and then I'll raise!
If htey don't appear on your screen, Maybe my screan is not ok? Garshin? Can the prizze be cheap or just the painting can be?

Milija .... Christine. next thing you will say will be that Germany is not a part of Lithuania? ...
Noooo wayyyy! The whole wide world is part of Lithuania ... isn't it?! :-)

Thanks for uploading a screen shot. Now I know what you mean.
Actually Smud should answer your question-mark-in black-diamond question, but the guy's already overloaded.

The question-mark-in black-diamond the is the difference in what character set your browser is interpreting, versus the character set used by FAA (e.g. Unicode UTF-8 versa Western ISO Latin 1).
You may just see it in IE while it looks "normal" in Firefox or vice versa.

If you like the question mark in a black diamond ... do nothing.

If you don't like it:
With the FAA window that shows the question mark in a black diamond open, view and then change the character set.

In Firefox this would be
View > Character Encoding >
(in IE it's similar)

See what your browser currently believes the page encoding (character set) is.

Then change it.
E.g. if it's by default set to ISO-8859-1 or US-ASCII or Windows-1252 - change it to Unicode UTF-8.
Or if it's by default set to Unicode UTF-8 - change it to ISO-8859-1 or US-ASCII or Windows-1252

Oh, and Mark ... me thinks the Mädels on the Oktoberfest don't like you wearing kilt and lederhosen at the same time.
They prefer kilt only :-)
No recommendation on the apple sauce brand ... any will do ... home made from scratch is always the best.

Thanks Christine!
I realy don't mind, I was just wondering what they are, and why they show up...

Milija, with this character set mish-mash you will see more cute and not so cute characters on your screen over time ... but it's all fine as long as you like it this way.

Enjoy :-)

I haven't question, but tell me something!!!!

Jovica - You are wondering if the Great Gershwin really knows what you are thinking. Yes, he knows and from the grin on your face, you are thinking about Hanky Panky.







BTW - Regarding Guinness beer earlier- I was at the Guinness Brewery in Dublin, Ireland in the Spring of 06. After visiting the brewery, I waited for a bus on a cold windy corner, and frooze my barley off.

What is Hanky Panky?

What is Hanky Panky? Hanky is the oldest of the world famous Panky sisters. She will show you your special purpose.

Hi Gene and friend! You can hide in a sack but I figured it out from the beginning. Dums. But I like it! it's light hearted and good for some great fun!

Ohhh, Snake Dog Man ... Gene and Vincent and Snake Dog and Snake Dog Man and who do I know ... all a case of multiple personalities.
It must be an epidemic. :-)

Great Gershwin I've been pondering for years on this one... help please,..
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Thanks Christine for the compliment. We are all people of metamorphic qualities I like to think. My Native name (snake dog man) is in respect for our Native American peoples I am aquainted with. Actualy I'm full Viking blood of the Northmen and am full of wanderlust.

All life sacred.

It was meant to be a compliment, Snake Dog Man ... enjoy it.
And: "All life is sacred" - I couldn't agree more.

Julie, for ages I'm wondering about this too. Can't wait to hear The Great Gershwin's answer.

Julie - The first person to discover the pleasure of the product you speak of was one of my early ancestors, Adam Eden Smud. As the story goes, he saw a cow one day nursing a calf, so it put it on is list of "Things I'll Try", or T I T, - Which became an acronym for the udder.

lol!! Way better answer than what I was thinking,, thanks Gershwin!! he he...

gershwin, you are way smarter than gene, IF i was one to bow, i'd bow to your genius.

Gershvin:
Malice eat malicious man!!!!

Julie and Marlene ...... I appreciate your appreciation. It warms the cockles of Gershwins heart. : )

Jovica........ That is exactly what Grandmother Smud use to say in times like these.

Who is Grandmother Smud ? Be concise!!!!

Oh Great Sir Gershwin: How do you especially, with your infinite knowledge, and forgiving nature, and great brain, therefore explain GENIUS?
Thank you in advance, but should you not be speaking with/to me, I will happily edit this question to relieve any distress to the great one, lol, xxx

Gershwin you have broken ALL the rules of Nature - can you explain in simple clear English ( preferably prior to imbibing a pint of Guinness) - You said in an earlier post: "Mark, you are a man of great wisdom. ............... I must relay a true story. After having 9 kids myself, I choose to get a vasectomy because I was uneasy about the 10th. .................." Perhaps you can answer a simply put question - How the HELL did YOU have 9 kids - "after having 9 kids myself"????? not only are the ladies on FAA interested...... the entire Global Medical Science Researchers are awaiting your answer ....... and it had better be GOOD!! :))

If 3 men had 4 dollars, who would get the change back after buying a widget.

Jovica - Grandmother Smud was the mother of my father. Her name was Perverta Sweatbelly Smud.

Vivian - The secret to being a Genius like myself is too start with a very low IQ and never use your brain until it is absolutly necessary. You may remember me from the Movie "The man with two brains." I have one brain I have never even used, and I have it ready to release in a moments notice if I ever run on to a really smart person. I communicate with blondes a lot, and use very little of my great brain.

Macsfield - Here in Smudville, the men take credit for the womens work. The female did in fact have something to do with having the nine young'uns.

hey gershy,
help me out here...when the grocery cashier asks the most important question of all..paper or plastic?

O.K.

Marlene - Always say YES !



Jovica - I feel that you have another deep, burning question. However, it could be the Jalapenos I had for lunch.

Soo, Gershwin, it's blondes that stimulate your brain ! Do I have that right?

Vivian - It is not Gershwins brain that they stimulate.

OH. Got it, but, he's got two brains....just thought it was the OTHER one, lol

Blondes,,, Gershin goes for Blondes.. hmmmm Great Gerswin do I dare go Blonde,, or maybe red,,, or now adays,, blue, purple,, help please!!!!

And do Blondes really have more fun???

Julie - If you were a blond who colored her to be a brunette, that would be considered Artificial Intelligence. The hair color does not matter. The Great Gersh Grabs Gals of any color, even bald. Blonds only have more fun because they are easier to find in the dark.

You're in luck nowadays, Sir Gershwin, so many seem to prefer bald to blonde,!!!

lol,,,Vivian,,,lol....

Do you think our Gershwin brain gets it, Julie, lol???

I have continplated your next question. " If a blond looses her hair, will she become more intelligent?" No, but no one will suspect anything as long as she remains silent.

I think he gets it.. lol!!!

Or fully clothed...he he he

Of course he gets it - via Google!! - ROFL!!! ....... But his answer to my question is pathetic, so I'll allow hi to try HARDER this time.

I just took one of my Love Pills a little while ago. It makes me love everybody! It works a lot like a Love Potion.
Macsfield, I think I am getting the hots for you..... in a manly kind of way. ; )



If anyone has a question for Gershwin, the answer is: YES........YES....... YES BABY......YES !!!

If a Smud gives an answer in the middle of the woods
will Goldilocks sleep in his bed?

YES......... YES.........YES !

Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll. Has it changed much in the last 40 years?

Can't remember, lol!

If Vivian can't remember, who can? ;)

if you were really living the 60's, you shouldn't be able to remember!

Crap! I used to live in 90's. May I remember or not?

LOL! @ this entire thread! : )

Gershwin, if you could travel one time in a time machine, wich person would you like meet for a couple of questions?

phyllis...leave it to gershy and his alter ego to keep us laughing!!

@Barbara: If he travel in future in tme machine how he can tell which person would like to meet if that person is not born till this moment? if he sais: cAbba Zabba how you can tell which person would he like to meet?

@Milija, Because he's got a paper sack on his head. He's got plenty of time to think. He probably has tinfoil taped across his forehead too.

Milija my dear, Gershwin will know I talked about the past. After all the Great Gershwin really knows what we are thinking...

Oh mighty Gershwin
Is there any similarity to your having your head in a bag, or sticking ones head in the sand, apart from the bag being more comfortable.

Oh wise one of wisdom, I’ve been away for a few days but in my travels I have tried to spread the wisdom of Smud.
While catching up on the thread looking for enlightenment my mind became full of more questions. Since you could answer the question about the cow and I found the whole bald /vs hair thing quite interesting, I’m partial to bald myself but they both have their virtues and that coupled with the fact that it is almost oyster season here, it dawned on me!
Who decided to eat the first oyster and that have anything to do with trying it, if you know what I mean?
They go good with Guinness too; hope to make the pilgrimage myself one day.

Barbara - I would go back in time and meet Adam in the Garden of Eden, and ask him if he would decline the forbidden fruit, and if he really knew how it would mess things up?
Or, I would go back 42 years and meet with my father again and ask if we could go to another baseball game and spend some time together.



Mario - Your answer is NO. If your head is in the sand, you can not see or hear what is going on around you. In a bag, you can see and hear more than you might think. If you are unknown in a bag, you may discover people giving their true opinion of you.


Mark - Harold Shull was the first to eat an oyster. He told me he has been making the pilgrimage to OysterVille since he was very young.


Steve - Yes, Gershwin does have tinfoil taped to his forehead. It heads to pick-up wisdom & knowledge from distant lands, much like a satelite receiver.

gershy, do you rent out for halloween candy collecting?

Hey Dudley, why are there so many X's living in Texas?

Marlene - Yes, Will rent for a Trick or a Treat.


Snake - Who is Dudley? Many X's are living in Texas because they don't want no Mo.

Sorry, got you mixed up with Dolittle(General). Once they get out of Missouri they never come back and they love Texas.

gershy, what kinda tricks do you like?
cut the lady in half
or
make the cow disappear...
oh wait, wrong thread....

Marlene - Cut the lady in half ( Your better half )
Your next question: How do you tip a cow? Give her 15% of the price of the steak.

Gershwin, Why is the sky blue?

Oh Great one, are you the one who is the “THEY” in that’s what they say or is it really Bernie Lebowitz like Gary l
Larson suggests?

ok, gershy...note to myself....do NOT eat while reading your answers, lest i choke from laughter.

Barbara my dearest, did you changed your initial post? Gershwin, did she?

OMG milija..you are a guy! i thought u were female.....

gershwin.....why do people watch dancing with the stars? and what qualifications does one need to be a 'star'?

Marlene, I don't know why one would watch dancing with the stars except to see the stars fall, but I certainly know what one needs to be one...

To be a Star one needs to be a Gassy Mass!!

Thats true in both types of stars!!

I been around too Gershwin...

Ted - It's hard to explain the effects of Rayleigh scattering in the atmosphere, and the
physical attributes of the color spectrum to a novice.
But here are some links that might make the explanation easier:
http://spaceplace.nasa.gov/en/kids/misrsky/misr_sky.shtml
http://www.sciencemadesimple.com/sky_blue.html
http://www.enchantedlearning.com/subjects/astronomy/planets/earth/Skyblu
e.shtml
I should also point out that the sky isn't always
blue. Near sunrise and sunset, it appears pink, orange or red,
especially near the horizon.

Mark - No.

Milija - No.

Marlene - " Why do people watch dancing with the stars? " Gershwin suspects it due to the Foxey, sexy, naked women who are shaking it both to and fro. To be a star, you must out-shine the heavenly bodies.

Dan - You are a man of great wisdom and a gassy mass. May you live long and prosper.

LOL....Great stuff.....

As a disciple of the Great Gershwin I yearn for more knowledge during my worldly quest through life. This being said my mind floods with unanswered questions that have troubled humanity throughout time.
One of which came to me at work this morning, one of the most famous mathematicians who has ever lived, Pythagoras, a Greek scholar who lived way back in the 6th century B.C. (forgive me for I know you knew that), came up with one of the most famous mathematical theorems ever, the Pythagorean Theorem. It says - in a right triangle, the square of the measure of the hypotenuse equals the sum of the squares of the measures of the two legs. This theorem is normally represented by the following equation: a2 + b2 = c2, where c represents the hypotenuse. With this theorem, if you are given the measures of two sides of a triangle, you can easily find the measure of the other side.
Question one; why didn’t he come up with something for left triangles?
Question two; where did his parents come up with a name like Pythagoras?

Mark - Left triangles were not considered important in the 6th Century B.C. However, there were plenty of Squars.
His parents came up with the name Pythagoras because of his two grandmothers. Pytha and Goras. They were not mathematicians, but had no trouble multipling.

stop it gershy, i can no longer laugh as hard as i used to without peeing in my pants.

Gershwin, why do Marlene thinks I'm guy? I newer touch her?
Which are the names of 9 little papper bugs?
Why do she pee in her pants when she laugh?

Great Gershwin, I gonna play roulette in Vegas in November. What will be the best 10 numbers for betting on?

here ya go milija man
::::::::smack:::::::::::::::

Barbara - Your roulette plan: Place 4 bets in the middle 12 at the same time. 1st on the 4 corners of 13,14,16,17...... 2nd bet on the 4 cormers of 14,15,17,18......... 3rd bet, on the 4 corners of 19,20,22,23...... & 4th bet on the 4 corners of 20,21,23,24. Make the same bet everytime, you will win more than you loose. If you continue to loose, be wise and know when to quiet.

At least! Thanks Marlene. It is realy extraordinary expiriance...

Thats pretty clever Gershwin, I'll try it!!! Thank you

Again you supreme insight amazes me! I thought I might stump you with the right triangle question.
Oh great one, following in the news lately I was wondering, if I eat genetically enhanced fish what personal enhancements might I be able to look for?
Will it affect my pursuit of becoming a professional wrestler of maybe a rap star?

Mark - When you consume the genetically enhanced fish, there maybe some unexpected results in some individuals. Your Salmon will of course be twice as large, and you may have a strong desire to jump into a lake. Your swimming fins may become erect, and If this condition last more than 4 hours, you should see your doctor.

Will cold water affect this condition?

Mark - When jumping into a lake of cold water, it seems to have a scrinking affect.

Barbara - May your playing be prosperous.

oh great gershwin....
did you have a bowl of witties this morning?

What are you really hiding under the bag?

milija....believe me, it hurt me more than it hurt you!

offcourse, I know that...

but what hurts me most is that Gershwin don't respond my questions...

cuz ya keep asking him very personal questions about me....gershwin knows a lot...but there IS a limit! lol

Who was Archimedes principal?

Which is Marlene's "better half" left or right? ;)
Where IS limit?

Tony -------- ARCHIMEDES PRINCIPAL
When an object is immersed in water, it feels lighter. In a cylinder filled with water, the action of inserting a mass in the liquid causes it to displace upward. In 212 B.C., the Greek scientist Archimedes discovered the following principle: an object is immersed in a fluid is buoyed up by a force equal to the weight of the fluid displaced by the object. This became known as Archimede's principle. The weight of the displaced fluid can be found mathematically. The fluid displaced has a weight W = mg. The mass can now be expressed in terms of the density and its volume, m = pV. Hence, W = pVg.
It is important to note that the buoyant force does not depend on the weight or shape of the submerged object, only on the weight of the displaced fluid. Archimede's principle applies to object of all densities. If the density of the object is greater than that of the fluid, the object will sink. If the density of the object is equal to that of the fluid, the object will neither sink or float. If the density of the object is less than that of the fluid, the object will float.
..... If you are speaking of Archimedes Smud, - he had no principal at all, and very little class.



Milija - A gentelman or a scholar never speaks of a ladies better half.

Do not speak, write.
How does this magic works?

By placing a small clear plastic disk against the bottom, possibly with a small hole in the middle for the match to enter. I am guessing as I did not go look at the answer. I figured it may be safer for me to have a go rather then risk Gershwin's paper bag getting soggy.

Thanks! This has been a lot of fun!

Kendall - Gershwin knows that Girls just want to have fun.

"When an object is immersed in water, it feels lighter." LOL.

gershwin, why did cyndy lauper give fun two syllables.
girls just want to have fu-un.

Hmmmmm... cuz it was fu--un?

Just a guess, I don't know for sure...

Hmmmmm... cuz it was fu--un?

Just a guess, I don't know for sure...

Marlene - It was because Lauper was accused of being a dumb blonde who didn't know any 2 syllable words. So, she proved that she did by using the word "Fu -un" ( I am uncertain what kind of fu-un she was having.)

cyndy played that dumb blonde role very well.... i just saw her on the joy behar show...she is a talent of substance....too bad our pop culture needed a dumb blonde persona to get noticed....
i was a blonde...i had trouble keeping my i.q. hidden.

Gershwin as always your supreme knowledge and depth of brilliance astounds me. I honestly don’t know what type of fun that Lauper girl had either but I suspect that Lou Albano character had something to do with it.

However back to business, in my quest for world knowledge man has wondered since the beginning of time. When a man’s hairline recedes why does hair simultaneously grow on his back?
I suspect it has something to do with the primal essence of our existence however I look to your witty knowledge.

Oh and Marlene I was blonde once too but had to marry one to truly find out.

Gershwin my son....I said "Who" (Principal) not "What" (principle). Surely Archimedes must have been sent to the office a few times for being a rabble rouser?

hahahha mark!
i must admit, i have fun blonde or not.....

I was a blonde and I was a redhead.
Prefer the redhead.

Now I'm a partially bald stubby head. I use to have long flowing dark hair with red highlights but it all migrated to other parts of my body

Sorry to hear that Mark. I had the opposite, at one time. Dark red with black steaks. My head, that is.lol

like i always say, grow it as long as you can for as long as you can.

I still have dark red, black, brown and some grey hair it is just more in a Chewbacca or Sasquatch since then in the GQ way.
It still grows too.

Mark - When a great and energetic man such as yourself moves forward for many years, he out runs his hair, and it is left on the back side and the back of his head.

Tony - According to my records, Archimedes was a product of home-schooling. He answered to Archimedes Senior. If you require further information, read the "Life and Times of Young Archimedes" by Oliver Shagnasty. ( That is spelled with one nasty)

Karen - If you are a true redhead, Gershwin perfers to keep you Gruntled, rather than Disgruntled by making a comment that might cause you to become inflamed in a firey, red-headed, explosion. I have burn scares from a previous episode.

Gershwin, Why does my dog chew on bottle caps?

Theresa - I once had the same problem, trying to chew those dad-blasted bottles open. If you give Rover a nice bottle opener, he will not have to chew the caps off. Or buy him a 6 pack of DoggieAid, and unscrew the caps for him.

If matter lights does light matter? © 2010 T Groehler Blue Skies Art

TerryAnne - As a matter of fact, it matters, ( no matter what others might tell you )

Gershwin...you're funny :D

Nicole - U R 2 ya little funny face.

Hehe...thank you :P

No worries, Gershwin. I'm not a redhead, now.

My hubby says brunettes fulfil what blondes seem to promise...is that true?

Nicole - ur welcome

Karen - but I like red heads : )

Barbara - I have found it is not the color of the hair, but the passion of the heart... Special loving women come in all colors of hair.

Aloha Gersh,...may i call you that ?

What i want to know is, how the heck do ya get "Walk-een" out of "Joaquin" ?

How old in the rain?

Cristopher - 'Joaquin' comes from the French. Joaquin Phenix played the role of Johnny Cash in the movie "Walk-een The Line." His late brother "River" got his name from swimming the river. I will not comment abut their sister Perverta Phenix.

LOL!!!

Hahaha......thanks Gersh !

gersh, do tell from whence your wittiness springeth?

To be or not to be, that is the question.

Marlene - There was a time when I was almost Witless. Then I discovered wits were in my genes. My father was a half wit on his mothers side. Grandmother Smud said if you use your wits, many folks will be deceived, and never realize you are stupid. So, I open my gene's and there springeth wits and other stuff.


Theresa - Just as the statement, "It depends on what 'IS' is", It also depends on what 'BE' be. Example: "If you be in da chips, you be drivin a Caddy. If you be Po, you be drivin a Fode." Which would you want to be?

what other stuff springeth froth from your genes?

Marlene - Thou shouldeth not inquireth about my other stuffeth!

Marlene, I'll answer for Gersh,................mostly Lint & Cofetti, but sometimes receipts

The Amazing one Gershwin, as I was lounging over the weekend, well not really but I tried, a question popped into my mind that left me bewildered.
Why does lint always collect in the belly button?
It just looks like dryer lint but yet we call it belly button lint why?

Can I answer Mark on this one Great Gersh ?

The lint is there to soak up any excess Naval Jelly.

Tony - you have answered well my son! Also, if a man carried his lint in his ear instead of his belly button, he might suffer from WaxusLintusHumongus. (or swollen ear syndrome)

The Great Gershwin has apparently answered every possible question that anyone could possibly have here. It seems that even my friend Mark has been satisfied with profound answers which have plagued him since his early childhood. It looks like my work here is done. Perhaps I shall hybernate to my sleeping bag.

gershy, is there an apple in your paper bag perchance? i need a piece of fruit for my honey's lunch...
....

Gersh,....is that "sleeping bag" paper or plastic ?

Oh wise one of wonder, my curiosity surpasses me.
When you go to the grocery store do they still ask, “paper or plastic”?

Have you ever-considered going green and using the recycled reusable bags as a fashion statement?

Marlene - I know YOU are the apple of your Honeys eye. The only apple in my bag is the Adams Apple.

Cristopher - It is a fine blend of polyester and plastic.

Mark - No, they do not ask, they simply call the cops and have me arrested as they assume I am the paper bag bandit.
........... I don't do green... I suppose I will always be a brown bagger.

When do your thread will go back to front page?

Milija - We go back to front page each time you ask Gershwin a question.

LOL!!!! So lets ask him ask him ask him......let's not forget the Gene...ious

Gershwin, do you think I'll find it?

Gersh...Does my avatar make me look phat?

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My husband likes Paris Hilton- shall i consider a divorce?

Why would you divorce the man for that Barbara? London Ramada, Tehran Motel Six, or the Paris Hilton. It's just a room with a bed!

What are you trying to tell me? :-)

tony! your wit is rivaling gershy's!!

By the way Barbara Muchas Gracias ! Muey Beuno for saving our village Senora !

Gershwin what is the difference between a nerd, a geek, and a dork?

PS - the source of my question comes from this conservation my children are having on Facebook:

Kelsey Bain You. Are. A. Dork.
John Bain geek
Kelsey Bain No I am a geek. You are a dork.
John Bain no you're a nerd
Kelsey Bain No nerds get better grades than I do. You are closer to a nerd.
John Bain well i suppose i qualify as both a nerd and a geek, cause i'm decent at school and i also like to obsess about esoteric pop-culture phenomenon. and i guess we are both dorks for caring about the delineation between the 3.
Kelsey Bain So wait what am I? Other than a dork, because I refuse to be only a dork.
John Bain nerd i already said that
Kelsey Bain So I don't get any geek points at all? I mean I understand that you outrank me as a geek, I think I outrank you as a nerd simply because I am a science major. I have the whole lab coat and goggles thing going on, but I feel like I have some geek cred too...
John Bain you have about as much geek cred as i have nerd cred......... actually probably less
Kelsey Bain Ok so I do not like video games like you do BUT I love LOTR, more than you I think. I am a Startrek fan though not a trekkie. I prefer Starwars. I watch Daily Show and Colbert report like its my job. I can quote directly from Chuck and Glee. I think reading science fiction novels is an absolutely amazing way to spend a Friday night. And yeah I guess that's all I got. I am willing to bet there is more though.
John Bain haha i didn't say you didn't have any, just less than me
Kelsey Bain I have less geek cred than you have nerd cred? I do not agree with this at all.
John Bain Well i am watching chuck now and you are not so....
Kelsey Bain Where did you find it? I'm watching criminal minds and studying for a midterm...
John Bain its on the television
Kelsey Bain I do not have a television... which makes me a hippie
Kelsey Bain Oh and eating candy corn.

Barbara - "Gershwin, do you think I'll find it?" Be aware of the old reply to your question. Where did you loose it?

Tony - "Gersh...Does my avatar make me look phat?" No, ... You look like a very extingushed gentleman and a scholar.

Barbara - "My husband likes Paris Hilton- shall i consider a divorce?" No, never consider a divorce. Murder Yes, - Divorce no.

Marlene - "tony! your wit is rivaling gershy's!!" Tony is much wiser than Gershwin. He is a seer of seer's.

Shelley - " The Great Gershwin is now confused and getting a headache. I know 132 languages, but not the one you presented here.

This threat is so funny. "Murder yes- Divorce no"....LOL
Compared to you, Confucius is a wimp!

gershy, please check out kevin's thread on hitting the lottery...check out my question and tell me the answer.

C'mon Marlene 'Represent' ! You shouldn't be plugging other threads. This discussion has everything you need and less.

Again, the dialectic reasoning and knowledge that you possess astounds me. So let me be frank, not that I want you to call me Frank. Actually, I don’t even know anybody named Frank. Even if I did, I would still want to be Mark, not to mention I don’t get into roll playing but I shouldn’t have mentioned it….
Anyway, as I build up to my story, my wife and I had our friends and neighbors over for dinner the other night. My wife and I have a 5-year-old daughter and their daughter is 1-year old. After dinner as the kids were playing on the floor, I sat watching having fond memories of my daughter at that age. At about that time the little one pasted gas, they both laughed and seemed to get a big kick out of this. Therefore, this brought a question to mind for the great Gershwin.
At about what age do kids start to think farts are funny? Hypothetically speaking, is it an ingrained primal instinct passed on from our ancestors? After all, they are proof that God has a sense of humor.

Last but not least I concur with Tony Marlene, who needs other threads with whimsical wondrous and great knowledge and insight of Gershwin. All kidding aside tho, your right it does.

Frank - I will be earnest with you. You always mark my day as a good one. But then anytime we have lots of marks, franks, and dollars, we all full of joy, and methane.
" At about what age do kids start to think farts are funny ?" It is approximatily between 6 months old, and at least the age I am now. I still think it is extremely humorous, and I often entertain at the Church Social with my gas harp. Much like Bag-pipes, I play a rousing rendition of "When the Saints go marching in." The only problem is, the fragrance seems to linger in the sack I wear.
Best wishes to the children, and their fuel crisis!

I knew a guy named Frank- he was kinda ugly ( but sweet) ....on every party we had, he gave us a nice table-strip dance after midnight...I guess it was the best time in his life to hear our cheerings...actually we invited him just because of that. LOL ...Long time ago...

If somebody in Germany accidently let a fart it's allways funny due to the reaction of the "farter" : You have to look around startlet and tell people: Oh, TRUMPET BUGS !!! Or : HOWLING MOSQUITOS!!!

my 5 year old granddaughter made up an invisible farter and blames him.....she named him McFartigan.

when my kids were little, we called them tushie burps.

anyway you 'cut' it, i don't do body noises very well...low tolerance and far too much a lady to want to deal with the sounds or the laughter.
i, personally, never pass gass.

Marlene - Gershwin knows you are full of it! LOL

Marlene are you an angel or an alien? I know the answer!

my honey bought a farting machine with a remote...he plays with granddaughter all weekend ...her favorite toy. go figgur.

Y'all are cracking me up! LOL!

and Shelley, that conversation between your kids is funny as heck! Haha!

phyllis, the bigger question is....was that conversation funnier than the good time we had last night????
:::ducking:::::

Say what? I don't know about you but I was in remedial! Hahahahaha! ; )

Mark, the appropriate question for Mr. Smud is not at what age to kids think farts are funny, but at what age do grown men think they are not?

I heard that that age is when a "f" can no longer be trusted for what it claims to do. (wisdom from the film"Bucket List").

LMAO!!! HA ha "Gershwin can see the future, and he knew you would be reading this today."

Dear Gershwin, how come it rains cats and dogs, (and in the 70s, men), but it never rains antelope, or anything else we don't already have?

And, if you don't mind answering two: do you think that Madonna felt like a virgin, because I think that might have been an exaggeration.

Gershy, do you think I need to renew my prescription for my glasses when I can't see the simplest things?

As always the intellectual wisdom of every one inspirers me to the core!
Patricia, I’m not as wise as The Great Gershwin but don’t antelope have horns, they could take an eye out falling from the sky and I don’t think that Madonna chick was even born a virgin.

Ben, he can see the future and read minds, how else did he know I knew Frank and Ernest, not to mention the franks, marks and dollars but that’s just my 2- cents.

Theresa, never…..drive bys go on in my office all day, the only time they are not funny is when you shart, (watch Something about Marry), although this only applies if you are the sharter, all the shart'ies still think it is funny.

Marlene, a wise man once told me “Never trust a woman that says she doesn't fart, she will only break your heart with her lies” and this McFartigan fellow, I'd like to meet him and maybe introduce him to the family.

Barbara, being as the mosquito is the State bird of the South Carolina Low country we don’t mess with them here, however we do have Carolina barking tree frogs, the ones with red eyes are the worst not to mention I have danced on a table or two but don't call me Frank. You paint good taste in beer, always need for a table dance!

Gershwin, again you amaze me with your powers, may I suggest a small vent or possibly a solar fan mounted in the top of your sack. I had this thought years back when I worked as a commercial diver, there was always a fear that one stray bubble could compress up through your wet suit and work its way past the neck dam into ones helmet giving the term "getting bent" a new twist. As a professional diver one always had to be afraid or stray gas bubbles.

Patricia - There is a long lonely stretch of road in west Texas where it doesn't rain often, but when it does, it rains Antelopes, cantaloupes, and Jackalopes, etc. It was a frightening experience.

Madonna may have felt like a virgin because she has Alzheimer's and didn't remember her many affairs.

Karen - I have examined your eye, and I would recomend that you see your eye doctor, - infact, let him check both eyes while you're at it.

Mark - I am greatful for your recognition of my all seeing powers. Its that my end stinks.
.......... Since you are a man of wisdom and great understanding, I would like to keep you in mind for a first assistant when I am overloaded with questions.

dear mark,
what a noble attempt at filling gershy's shoes....the problem is, he often throws them in the paper bag when his feet get all sweaty and i don't think you'd really wanna go there.

i was thinking of renting out mcfartigan...or at very least, write a children's book about him...i think he could at very least, rival caspar!

Oh great one thank you for the compliment, I am graciously honored I felt great enlightenment this morning, or maybe the after effects of much caffeine or that spicy supper last night I just the felt bubbly euphemisms enthusiasm sort of thing like a nebulous cloud of gas. After being your disciple and ardent follower since the inception or digression of this great thread I’m not sure which, I just felt the uncontrollable urge to be frank and ernest.
Marlene, you should write the book, my mother, a retired schoolteacher gave my daughter a book a few years back when she was going through potty training. Its title was, “Everybody Poops”, it showed drawings of different animals and well you know, poop, seriously that may sound like a bunch of crap but I can’t make this stuff up!.
After reading that book I have to pass this one along, I would think that Mr. Mcfartigan and friends would make a great book but with that kind of title and appeal it could even turn into an educational kids show on T.V. When it gets that far I would love to make a cameo appearance.

i know that book!! it is wonderful!

That is my favorite book, and if I had not read it, ..... I would REALLY be full of it. I still might not know the joy of pooping without the book.

I think Councilman McFartigan did it.

yes...and i bet no one is gonna rush to the john during the break, lest they be accused of dealing them!

Remember my child, the passing of gas is like a bad work of art. If it's a real stinker, no one wants to claim it, - and yet, as it departs, it can bring to mind a classic movie. Gone with the wind.

On the subject and not off topic our supreme wise one of wisdom I have been left yet to ponder this question. I have searched for an answer mathmatically by working generals gas law forward and backwards and even consulted with someone in the medical field (my wife).
Why do they smell worse in the bath tub?

still talking pharts?

how come old people are called old pharts? is it because we are stinky or funny?

Mark - When you submerge a large gaseous body in a confined area, and then the eruption of bubbles explode into what appears to be high-powered spa tub, the close quarters and your inability to escape renders one helplessly subject to the rancid aroma. It seems worse because of where you are.

Marlene - Yes.

Gershwin, which shielding gas is the recommended for GTAW welding steel plate?

Greg - (GTAW) GAS TUNGSTEN ARC WELDING provides high-quality welds because of the gas shielding of the molten weld pool. The welding arc is created between a tungsten electrode, which is non-consumable, and the weld pool. The welding can be autogenous (without filler material), or with filler rod/wire. Because of the shielding and high concentration of heat it is used on refractory and reactive metals which oxidize readily without inert gas protection.
MATERIALS PROCESSED/TYPICAL APPLICATIONS
Materials Processed � Some examples of ATCo’s GTA welding: 300 Series, 400 Series and precipitation hardening stainless steels, Inconel 718, Incoloy 901, A286 and Titanium alloys.

shwin ( my new nickname for you...it's very nostalgic and for some reason, i wanna take a bike ride...)

how come people think i am an uneducated dolt because i choose to not type in caps?

SOOOO Gershwin, which gas is used for non alloy mild steel plate..... C02, Helium, Argon, O2 etc?

Marlene - Do not fear. There are those who think the Great Gershwin is a dunce with a sack on his head. As long as we know the truth, I would say to the accuser as a wise man once said " Nananana boo boo - it takes one to call one!"

Greg - The best way for you to learn, is to experiment with all of the above. Your great work will tell the tale.

i don't acknowledge them...afterall, no point typing to them if they cannot read my lower case style, right?

Alas, not to intrude but let me step in my dear Master Gershwin for as your disciple you have taught me well as day job, is a QC manager in a weld shop, let me elaborate for you since we are still on gas.
C02, is primarily used for FCAW of carbon steel, however Argon or an Argon Helium mix with a 2-3% Thoriated tungsten electrode is most commonly used for GTAW however the gas or the gas mixture will be determined by the application. For instance, butt welding pipe you might need higher penetration and use a mix while thin plate might find straight Argon sufficient. It is usually considered non-cost effective to weld the entire joint out with tig unless it is for an x-ray quality weld and O2 as an oxidizer is never used except for cutting to get a hotter flame unless you refer to torch welding which is an entirly different subject. GTAW or tigging as it is called is primarily only used for alloys anymore in industry.
As the great one has spoke of try and see, your work will tell.
I feel this was a test oh wise one of wisdom for you have taught me well. I hope I snatched the pebble.

Mark - I knew I had chosen correctly why picked you as a man of great wisdom. As you mentioned, butt welding is a profession we need more of. I have noticed cracks in many butts. Butts should be welded properly to prevent the escaping gas we spoke of earlier.
Soon you will snatch the pebble my son.

Yes this very true but I try to stay away from penetration and go for complet fusion, just watch the under cut!

Mark - Well done, - congratulations on your under cut!

oh great gershie,
does business pick up around the holidays for paper bags?

If Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, and the dog ate them.... How many pecks of peppers did peter piper pick?

Marlene - Yes, paper bags are extremely busy around the holiday season. Starting at holloween, we are filled with delights!

Dan - Peter Piper picked a peck. ( After the dog ate the pickled peppers, he has not stopped running )

gershie, stay away from creepy men who ask you " want some candy, little bag?"

If you took five steps left and one back,and fell of a cliff.Do you think the paper bag will remain undamaged?Because I want It as a souvenir.

Dear Mr. Brown Bag Lunch,

Why do some folks get their shorts in a bundle assuming every negative thing they can imagine is contained in something written without their name applied? Are they they just trying to find self respect outside their self or compensating for the black and blue bruises on their psyche from early life abuse ... or maybe that which I am too blind to see? Help me please all-knowing Smud Sack...hmmm, maybe it is just me trying to find reason where none has reason to reside.

Ben - I am planning to go out this afternoon and run a test at a near by cliff. However, I can send you one of my gently used sacks for a small fee.


Charles - The Bundled-Shorts syndrome is spreading across the land. Smud is trying to spread laughter like mayonnaise on a samitch. ( even without a reason) ------- Spreading good cheer & laughter makes a body, or a bag, feel better.

charles, from what i have experienced, those insults should be in paper bags rather than the thin veil in which they are wrapped

LMAO...I'll have to think about that...:)

I am a most earnest follower of your enlightened leadership on your Johnny Appleseed Journey spreading Mayonnaise Mirth Madness Merrily.

really sweet alliteration, charles! kudos!

Thank You Marlene,

You may have noticed I find fun in free-styling with the first letter on a spontaneous basis...often pushing the cognitive syntax envelope a little harder than one should. It just makes writing a thought a tad more entertaining for me so I can squeeze some interest out what I'm doing ya know.

i have always admired your style of writing....filled with the same creativity and fun as i see in your art.

Oh great one, if sand is like time through an hourglass, why does water make sand sticky?

Mark - H20 + terra firma = massive-ultra-dampness or M. U. D.

Oh great Gershwin, I have designed a great chair and decorated it, it even has pre-engineered vents in the seat for gas to escape.
Will these chairs bring me great riches or just give me an excuse to sit on my ass more?

Mark - Your chair shall broaden your assets. Great riches will be yours if you photograph your seat and show your assets to the right investors. You will soon be in the lap of luxury.
I need your services to build me a new stool for my studio as per my design. I will send you a stool sample.

I will eagerly await , just make sure you use the proper material though for shipping. You know for instance don't put your sample stool in a sack of the wrong size. As an example if it is a 10-lb sample don't put it in a 5-lb sack okay.

Mark - That is an excellent point my friend. However, it reminds me of those disposable baby diapers. They say of the package "Up to 25lbs". I don't think mine will weigh that much. Three cheers for your chair!

Sir: Could you explain "the value of ignorance" in your own words or less?

Vivian - The absence of knowledge is sometimes considered ignorance. We are all ignorant of something, that is why we must share our knowledge with those less knowledgeable. Since ignorance is bliss, - to be in total bliss is priceless.

$1.25
sorry Gersh I jumped the gun
BTW Gersh I'm in awe of your power not even a week after I asked you where my buyers were and you said someone with a sack 0f money was headed my way I sold 2 prints All Hail the mighty Gershwin

David - $1.25 is the price of appathy, but thanks anyway.
Congratulations on your sale! Keep doing that great work, and keep the faith! A customer is presently pondering a purchase!

david, it surprises me that more peeps on faa are not aware of gershy's powers......

The word will spread like butter on warm toast

Butter on warm toast, ..... How bout some jelly and coffee with that please?

Oh great one of wisdom... It occurs to me that non of us know from whence you came. What is your ethnic background? The color very color of your skin eludes us. Pray tell and enlighten us.

I know that in order for the great Gershwin to be with us a tree lost its life.

What is a sack like you doing in a nice place like this?

Dan - Tis not the color of a mans skin, but it is the content of his heart that matter. A plain brown bag can serve as well as a white one.

Tony - Gershwin was created from the mulch of a dead Dogwood, with no bark.

Gene - I am here spreading love to the unloveable, such as yourself.

Oh great one, all kidding aside as one artist to another, do you decorate your sack for the holidays? I know one of your great stature and supreme knowledge must recognize and celebrate all religions.

If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?
If I was a tree, what kind of tree would I be?

what?

I would think you'd be a naughty pine

Mark - I recognize and honor all religions. I do not decorate my sack except on Feb. 29th, which as you know is The annual Sack Ball and Fish Fry. On that occcasion I wear my Grand Masters Official Sack Headdress.

Patirica - If I were a tree, I would be a weeping willow, and weep for all the sad and lonely people in the world.
............... If you were a tree, you would be the tree of knowledge, as you are so wise and knowledgeable.

Which road did chicken cross?

can I get this one gersh ?


He crossed on the corners of Perdue Ave. and Tyson Street.

I thought the chicken crossed Colonel Sanders ExpressWay......I think he was egged on. Please keep me abreast.

Never belittle a chicken who crosses a road. If she did not cross the road, she would be bound by limits to her advancement. Much like the turtle who if he did not stick his head out, he would never make progress. Do not be too chicken to paint outside the lines.

oh great gershy...who is the cleverest of them all?

I'm Ryan Paul Simmons, I painted the 'Barock the Vote' for the Obama campaign. Please feel free to view and RATE MY PORTFOLIO at: http://www.arttakesmiami.com/ryanpaulsimmons On the TOP RIGHT you click on how many stars I get and you can follow me on Facebook. Thank you!

Marlene - When you pray for wisdom, you find a valuable councellor and the cleverest advisor in your mirror.

Ryan Paul - I rated your portfolio 5 Stars! - ( I rated Obama himself, half a star )

HAHAHA! Thanks Brother! Now please send it to your friends!!! Need a lot of love here!

How many games will the Texas Rangers play to win 4 games to win the ALDS from the Yankees.

Never fear my friend..... It will be done in a total of 6 games. Texas will win 2 of 3 in New york, and one back at home.

Gershwin...I have a girl friend I really like. Her name is Lara Croft. She never disappoint me since today. So what should I do? Do you think I should give her a chance or kick her in her butt....

Dear Amazing one of glory, Gershwin, last weekend my wife through me a surprise birthday. She made a large pile of fresh shrimp, hushpuppies, sausage potatoes and steamed oyster plus gave me copious (I love that word) of specially brewed beer. While celebrating I ate large amounts of the fresh oysters washed down with the copious amounts of brew followed by more double dark chocolate cake and more brew, even a few oyster shooters. When I woke in the morning, I felt a slight bit off almost like I was seasick.
My question is do you think I felt sea sick because of all the sea water in the fresh oysters or was the cake maybe a little stale?

Barbara - There is not enough time to kick all the butts that disappoint you. Give her anotherr chance, then another.

Mark - It sounds like a typical case of too much Sea water in the cake. You say your wife gave you copious? There is a shot for that.

Yes, it was, she is a nurse so it was copious however, I think it was sterilized because it contained alcohol.

happy birthday. mark!!
gershy, go sit on the back burner, will ya?

Yes dear ; (

gershy, so obedient! i love you even more.
make sure the burner isn't on or you'll get some burns.
that's what happened to me.

I get it!!! Is that why Marlene Burns? : )

oh yeah......

Hot..... Hot......Hot......!

THE TEXAS RANGERS ARE IN THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!

How can I be a Recognized Artist in my Community, in a foreign country? I m gallery owner.

O mary - You will be able to recognize yourself by looking into the mirrow, - Others in your community will recognize you when you show them your Identification.
Network and do for others in your community, give of yourself, promote art, and be accessible.

Go Rangers!

Thanks so much Gershwin for the A ! 2 more Q, why are you hiding your face? are u a Criminal/robbery or terrorist?

Does fried rabbit really taste like chicken?

O mary - I conceal my extrodinary handsomeness to prevent the female gender from ripping their garments off and throwing themselves upon me. And no I am not a criminal, robber, or a terrorist, but I have been called The Love Bandit.

Mike - Kentucky Fried Rabbit, (if you have one in your community, ) tastes similar to a Spring Chicken, if properly prepared.

Marlene slaped me once. Is she my girlfriend now?

Marlene slaped me once. Is she my girlfriend now?

Marlene slaped me once. Is she my girlfriend now?

ops!

Milija, you don't need to begin to stammer when you look at Gershwins face:-)

Oh wise wonderous Gershwin. One often hears about abnormal foods being discribed as tasting like chicken.
So why don't people just eat chicken?

i have given up slapping.
i kiss on both cheeks now.
so, no, milija, i am not your girlfriend.

Does fried chicken taste like rabbit ?

Mark - You have asked one of the most important questions of all. I will need to do some research, as to why people don't just eat chicken.

Marlene - The word has it that you are a closet slapper. : )

Tom - No, Chicken does not taste like rabbit, so by that logic, I suppose we can go ahead and say, in general, rabbit does not taste like chicken.

Thank you, Barbara, you are so nice ;)

Gershwin, Barbara tell me something, is she my girlfriend now?

No, Marlene, I did not ask you, it is Gershwin who decide...

Gershwin, may you marry couple by all your mighty powers? Just here on faa?

Barbara & Marlene & Milija........ Sitting in a tree. K- I- S- S- I- N- G.

Milija - Yes, Marlene and Barbara are both your girlfriends now. If you would like for me to perform a marrage by proxey, I will fix you up with them both. You will only need to send me 5 camels and a nice Persian rug for my services. Treat them well, or I will reposes them.

Just 5 Camels? Isn't that dirty cheap?

camels with or without a month's supply of water?
i live in the desert

Make that camels with extra water on the side.
One hump
or
Two?

no humps...i use articficial sweeteners.

new question the the great and wise gershy....

why is it, after a weeekend of feeding and hosting 40 old pharts for a college reunion, one would be too tired to move on a monday morning?

Marlene - Gershwin believes that you are too tired to move because you fed and hosted 40 old pharts on the weekend. Of course your degree of hosting and spreading good cheer to the 40, will be directly related to the degree of tiredness.

thx gershie...it was my honey's 40th fraternity reunion but there were guys there from up to 20 years older!
he surprised me with a lavalier ( necklace with the fraternity letters)...so i guess we are going steady now!
today, i will spend the day at the computer uploading the pix and videos of the weekend...it was grand, truly!

Dunno how, but you are reading my mind Gershwin! I will send 5 camel cigarets and 20 * 30 cm rug... May we set up that weding this weekend? I will treat them weelll...
Now: the best man? Gane?

A question: How to handle two women when I have problem to handle one?

My President Jacob Zuma got 4 women and 23 children, You can Milija (-_-) !

i must defer to barbara, milija.
i am too tired.

Dear Gersh (if I may address you informally),

Is the toothfairy a communist plot to take teeth from one and give to another, or a capitalist plot to keep us all churning out cheap ivory for Walmart?

Also, should I use linseed oil and/or mineral spirits for glazing?

Milija - OK, as long as the Camels have not been living on the rug. The wedding is scheduled for Mid October 2012. Handle them with care.

O mary - It is OK to make love to several wives, as long as they are someone elses wives and not your own. It is my understanding that Zuma has 23 children, and not one of them sends him a fathers day card.

Marlene - You will be rested by 2012.

Patricia - The toothfairy is a communist, terrorist. If you have recently lost a tooth, put a mouse trap under your pillow. The dreaded toothfairy would have you toothless, and only give you a small amount of change. That is what he did to the folks in Arkansas, leaving most of them toothless and in a state of mass confusion, with 15 cents under their pillows.

Still, I must find best man. Gane? Omary? If some of them doasn't accept, I belive in your mighty powers and that you can be on two places at same time. May you be bast man and priest at same time?

Marlene, once again, I didn't ask you...

milija, gershy decides and what he says goes....he says i will be rested up by then AND my social insecurity checks will be free flowing soon as well.

Halloween is coming in about 5 days.... I thought it would be fun if we all wear a mask or something. : )

i will be a sand witch.

I'll have a MarlieBurger with fries.....to go.

Milija, I'll wait for you at the front door of the El Paso Wedding Chapel on Oct. 15, 2012. If you don't recognice me, I'm the one with the white dress.

So what will Marlene be wearing? Scarlet? .......LOL

One Carmen once told us that she will be waiting in room 106 in hotel exelzior, when we show up and asked they told us that room 106 in hotel exelsior don't exist! So I don't believe you Barbara!
But later on we find out real adress of Carmen so our plan is if we ever go to her hometown to knock on her door and when she show up to ask: "Is that room 106???"

I'll be one with bowler hat

Fifteen cents! Were you just showing your age or is that still the going rate in Arkansas?

How does I dispose of a toothfairy? Paper or plastic, trash or recycle?

:::::::::::::::;;smacking gene in advance for the next 10 snarky comments::::::::::::::::::::

Trust me Milija, I'm a reliable girl and so is Marlene.
This is the location of "Twin Pines Wedding Chappel" in El Paso Texas.

http://virtualglobetrotting.com/map/kill-bill-filming-location/view/?service=1

Great idea Gene, let's all wear a mask on halloween! I'm curious what mask Gerhswin may wear?

that;s when gershy takes it off!! he takes it all off...including the smirk...oh wait, that's more of a cheshire cat smile

It seems we have gotten side tracked, however back to more serious relevant questions. I hope for no offense here ladies, especially since October 14th is my birthday, I would love to attend the marriage ceremony of three lovely women, especially if Marlene is going to wear scarlet and slap everyone around but that is beside the point. It just sounds like a myriad plethora of fun!
My question for the wise great one of whimsically supremly wise knowledge is: I was crushed last year when I sculpted my face with liquid silicon, fake nose, chin and dressed as a pirate only to be shunned at a contest because the judges thought I had it professionally done or that I was a makeup artist. So this year I will not go through as much trouble but thought about wearing a kilt and a fake beard so my question is… Do I wear underwear under my kilt and should my beard be red? I fear I must ask such a question because here in the low country the mosquitoes are bad and I wouldn’t want any untimely swelling or itching on certain parts.

mark, i have a stunning pic somewhere of an UPshot of a kilt wearer...i cannot post it, lest i be banned permanently from the site...but i can say with confidence that if you want to be authentic, no undies, please.
i suspect we will get a myriad of answers on this one....lol

Mark - Mrs. Marlene has spoken well. If you want to be authentic you will wear no UnderBloomers. However, remember that if you drop a piece of candy on Halloween, be careful who is behind you when you pick up the goodies. You may want to kick the tasty tidbit down the street before bending over.
Also, we are looking forward to seeing a fullmoon on Halloween, so post photos of yourself in all your glory. I can only imagine the delight on Marlenes face when she opens the door on Halloween night, and she see's you there on the front porch mooning her.
If the kilt is short, then the beard is optional, as no one will notice the beard due to certain distractions.

I saw that picture of Chapel, I believe you Barbara, you can start waiting right now.

Gershwin, I wanted to make fun here on faa but now Barbara wants to marry me for real? What to do? How to get rid of her? I have scalpel?

I sugest this to be wedding march: We are a happy FAAmily:

milija, at least you don't have to worry about me wanting to marry you......since you keep reminding me you haven't asked.....i don't take rejection well.
lol
gershy, you have painted quite a pic.....i don't scare easily...perhaps some scary music might help.

I should of been a Ramone...........
Gershwin is to late for me to fulfill this fantasy or should I stick to the one metioned above about Marlene slapping us all around?

marlene will not be smacking...she is now choking over mark's latest comment.

I didn't think my wanting to be a Romone comment was that bad?

Milija - You would do well to take Barbara as one of your wives. She quiet the looker and knows how to make passionate art!

Marlene - Remember the rule, - Smack, don't choke.

Mark - You can not be a Remone, as they require a different dress-code than a kilt wearer. However, You can be a Ramond, and we know Everybody loves Ramond.

Thank you Sir!

Marlene, no offense I hope this is just down right funny. So I hope you didn't choke to bad.

Besides if you choke then Gershwin will have to give you a hemlock-himlick- hindlik or whatever it is called.

Gershwin don't do the hinelick.

oh no , mark..i choked over your fantasy comment...in a good, funny way!
be easy on me...i was called a nasty ho in an faa e mail today....i can't take much more! lol

Gershy your such a wise man! I don't see why Milija would'nt enjoy me, my 13 kids, my 3 cats and 2 uneducated dogs...we're all together a great family! I'm sure Milija will be happy joining us in our mobile home community, watchin nascar and drinkin beeeer....

barbara,
you're close to octomom!!

I have had better plastic surgeries!

Did someone say Nascar??

did anyone else notice anything strange at the game last night?

omg, david!! gershy was in the line up!
you are genius.

barbara, have we scared milija away?

I guess Milija is sleepin...he might have some bad dreams ...about two women with balls in a white wedding dress chasing him...

a veritable nightmare....are the chicks wearing panties at least?

Free play for Marks and the chicks balls!!!

David......Thats GREAT! LOL
I would recognize Smuds rear anywhere...... Too bad the Rangers had a couple of bad pitching nights. ..... But maybe it was because Smud was in the line up. : )

ya the good old days when just the fans wore bags on their heads Rangers might do better at home

I may need to pitch on Saturdays game. The home fans may not be enough.

Hey ladies, there will be 144 ballz available Saturday night at the Ballpark in Arlington, TX!

Do you notice anything different about me? ...... Maybe it was the pizza I ate last night. : {

Herman Munster? Or the incredible Hulk?

Herman Munster

A trick
or
A treat



............ And tell the Invisible man I can't see him today...........

a trick. and where's your bolt?

a bolt of lightening
or
a bolt of fabric?

Click on me and you can see the bolts in my neck....... in the Avatar pic. ( I will only be showing my bolts - not my nuts )

Mr. Smud, what I would like to know as my question of the day, for I am not surprised that you were pitching in that line up but……..why didn’t everyone run from that giant guy with his hands up in the air?

Oh and Marlene, I’ve never worn panties under a kilt, and Barbara, thats free ball, not free play.

Mark - We Texas Ranger are not afraid of the Giants, even tho they have been kicking us around for a week. : )

hey gershy, has anyone had a better day than gene?
i think not.

Marlene - No, indeed not! No one has every had a a better day than Gene did today, and he expects tomorrow to be better. ------- and is looking forward to the day after that! ................. Life is beautiful : )

There once was a movie, I can’t remember the name but there was this woman that kept growing and turned into a giant, like the opposite of the Incredible Shrinking Man. She ran amuck and played havoc throughout the movie. To me it looks like that huge guy talking into the giant microphone is trying to steel Gershwin’s ever enlightening head wear.

Mark - She was the AMAZING COLOSSAL WOMAN. Alas, I knew her well. She had a really big heart,.... as well as a few other choice organs.
Gershwins head wear is a sack of knowledge, which was passed down from the Dhali Smud.

I was away for few days, what did I miss?

Milija - We had a Grand Prize drawing worth $25,000. and your name was drawn, but you needed to be present to win. Sorry you were not here.

Gershwin, is my mother the only one looking at my work?

Mike - No, it is not only your mother who is looking at your work. You will be pleased to know that me and yo Momma both are great fans of yours.
( along with tons of other folks)

Gershwin,

Since I am now God, shouldn't I have all the answers and no questions?

By the way Gershwin, what are your feelings about worms?

Roger - I have been taking medicine for a few months, so the worms no longer bother me.

Gershwin,
I've got a problem of worms in my "I am God" thread. What shall I do???

Roger; I raise earthworms. I feed them compost and an occasional beer during the holidays. The species is "redworms". The soil made od castings is very rich and sells for $5.00/pound. I use the worms to feed my Tiger Salamanders and a Jefferson's Saaamander. I have books from th old timers on worm raising and composting. The soil is grrat for herb growing. I grow mint and wild onion as well as watercress and tomatoes in the summer gardens.

Roger - If you have problems with worms on FAA, ( & some of those guys are a real pain in the arse) report them to Beth & she will ban them.

Gershwin, as we have Roger now, we don't need you anymore...

Roger, if you are god can you build wall so high that even you can't jump over it?

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
we will always need gershy AND mr. swezey (sir)

The Stone God makes that is so big that even he can't move is called a man's heart.

Once again Marlene I DIDN'T ASK YOU ANYTHING! What a horrible wife would you be...

Milija - You may not need me anymore, but I can tell you this, if you pick on Marlene, Lord Swezey and I will zap you into smizereens! Have a nice day.

milija, i really do not have a clue what's bugging you but this is a public discussion...if you want your comments to be private, then i suggest you send private e mails to people....but not to me. i've gotcha blocked

Gershwin, oh great one I so humbly ask, do rank yourself on a plane with a God like lord Swezey or do you consider yourself more of a Prophet or a visionary like Nostradamus?

Retraction.

Mark my son - you are making a great Mark in life. I am not a prophet, - I am only interested in a profit. I knew last year that you would be asking me about Nostradamus today.... it must be that my in stinks. Remember, when you can pebble a snatch from my hand, you will be ready for your special purpose.
May the force be with you - ( the police force )

I practice pebbling snatch with my hand at home every chance I get although sometimes my wife won't let me. One of my paintings is of a special porpoise and I too wish to profit or was that crotchet.

Plaese don't zap me! Please. I didn't meant anything bad, but she's my girlfriend now and she just doasn't akt like I expect, she talks without permission? Barbara is much better, she's silent those days...

I Will be away for few days...

Gershwin, Is it Wrong to Rock & Roll?

Mike my friend - It is not wrong to rock. I rock in my rocking chair quiet often. However, I try to avoid rolling. When I am down and can't get up, I try to crawl instead of roll.

hey, boyfriend.....what you read is what you get!
hope your away time is good time.


gershy, that's why old guys take viagra..keeps them from rolling outta bed.

That is one reason that Gershy don't roll. -------- I tried the blue pill once, and later when I was asleep in bed, I tried to roll over. I felt like a big motor cycle with the kick-stand down. However, it did prevent another nasty fall out of bed.

hey, girlfriend, thank you, we are having a good time, we are making a chaos, will bring small reportage if I can...
Pharmacist should invite anti-blue pill if someone take blue one, and suddenly wish to roll down the hill...one of my favorite games...

Gershwin, what would you like we to ask you now?

Girlfriends, keep bumping this thread, I will be away for few days more...

Milija - "Gershwin, what would you like we to ask you now?" I would like you to ask how much money I need. Then you could send it promptly, so that you can continue getting all your questions answered, and you will have good fortune on your journey. Happy trails.

milija is always away for a few days....gershy, do you think he has other girlfriends?
i was just about to ask him for some candy and flowers and ::::POOF:::::: gone again!!
i will be coming into some money and will pay you...just got a letter this morning , telling me that a check for 2,8000,000.00 is coming my way and i should write the man a check back for $2,400,000 to start a motherless charity in tucson and sent him the balance.
now, you tell me, what does a mutha know about being motherless?

What a co-inkie-dink! I received an email this morning saying that I had $35,000,000. coming! Glory Halaluiah! That will enable me to pay almost all of my credit card! And maybe buy a few art supplies!

my goal is to buy one piece from every faa artist and then a HUGE warehouse to house them all....my dream may be coming true very soon, gnene!
our daughter will be so happy that such good fortune has befallen her parents!!

Marlene - Yes, I see in the Tea leaves that Jilija has 7 other girlfriends. But that is his custom in the East ( east Texas that is ). He mentioned that he expects you to send HIM candy & flowers. I see great things in your future relationship.

Hey boys and girls- Barbara is back in town!
Did I hear something about Milija is having other girlfriends? tztztz......

Gene, I played your roulette plan: Quote: Place 4 bets in the middle 12 at the same time. 1st on the 4 corners of 13,14,16,17...... 2nd bet on the 4 cormers of 14,15,17,18......... 3rd bet, on the 4 corners of 19,20,22,23...... & 4th bet on the 4 corners of 20,21,23,24. Make the same bet everytime, you will win more than you loose. If you continue to loose, be wise and know when to quiet.
Ok, I have been wise, quit ......and switched to craps. So much fun! As a first time shooter I made every body at the table rich...except my self.

barbara,
so glad yuo are back! gershy just told me that milija expects flowers and candy from me and that is SOOOO not going to happen!

LOL.......... Sorry if my plan did not work for you. It has worked for me more times than not. I use to really enjoy playing the crap table, but It has been a long time since I have been to a casino.
It is good to see you back Barbara! and better luck next time. : )

Marlene - If you were my girlfriend, I would not require you to send flowers and candy, you would just have to send money and keep my clean sacks pressed.

gershy...they say that opposites attract. ergo, you will need a PLASTIC sack as a suitable partner.
i have all my original parts...nothing plastic about me......

Nice to see ya Gershy, Marlene and Gene, I really missed you! Flowers and candy for Milija? Who the heck is MILIJA????

I'm not heck! Who told you that? I newer drop in bank's computers...

Gershwin, how much money do you need? Maybe you made a mistake from the beginning, making this service free?

Barbara, don't believe rumors! Other girlfriends? Never! Aren't you supose to wait in front of chapel and not to spend my money in casino?

Marlene, although I can't remember that I asked you anything :) don't believe everything to Gersh, I'll bring sweets and flowers on the day of wedding...

Milija - I must besto much more wisdom upon you before you take Marlene as one of your new lives. It would be wise to allow her to speak if you want to experience "Happy time' in the evenings.

It does not take much money for my advice.... just send me 10, 15, or 20 thousand dollars as a love offering.

Oh great one, what is this strange plethora of plastic parts Marlene refers too?

hahahha mark!

Mark my son - You can always tell if a woman has plastic parts. Many times her boosems will taste similar to silicone.

I will alow her if she asks, what is so complicated abouth that?

Just asked how much do you need, I never tell that I will send...I will consider if you tell whay do you need that money? And I will send few bucks for shure, if you need it for new plastic bag...Don't worry, I'm shure that newspappers, television and internet will soon bring news about some paperbug predicts future...Will they?

Dear Gershwin....Did anyone ever tell you that you have the eyes of Spongebob, and the teeth of Ernest Borgnine? What a combination! You should be in movies!

Thank you Ms Jackie, ...... As a matter of fact I was in a few movies, such as Sack from the Black Lagoon and Nightmare on Sacks 5th Avenue.

.

Is that dot means the end of discussion?

Why they didn't bump the thread? Gershwin, now I need to break up with them...

i just knew it wouldn't last, milija.
i leave for one lousy day and you dismiss me.
good to know BEFORE the nuptials!

Murlene - Now I'm glad that Milija didn't nuptial you!

Milija - No, there is no end to the discussion, as long as you have a question for Gershwin.

me too! and he didn't even offer me a pre-nup.
( is that like trying out the cow before you buy it??)

Oh great one of knowledge…………..I’m planning on smoking a boston butt cut of pork and grilling a turkey on Thursday morning. I figure I’ll get up very early and start the fire. I know what kind of beer and doughnuts I need for this task but what would the best kind of wood to use for the smoking be?

Tell me what you think of the Italians!

Mark - Be sure to dunk the doughnuts in a frosty mug. As for the wood, use genuine Texas hickory. If you need further assistance on smoking your pork, please ask Murlene.

Enrico - Italians are my favorite people. Especially the women. I have visited Italia, but it has been about 10 years...too long. If you have any question, I know every answer in the world, except for one.

gershy, when will my kitchen be put back together again?

Hi Gershwin! I see you never made the change from paper to plastic. Good for you. Stand your ground!

It will be a dark chocolaty brew made with coffee, an excellent breakfast ale with of course Krispy-creams and of course I’ll raise my mug and do a toast to the GREAT GERSHWIN while I’m soaking my wood.
One more thing there Marlene, if you’re having trouble with that kitchen thing try grilling, Gershwin can give you some great advice on wood.

almost every night, mark!

Murlene - Never fear..... it will be back together by Thanksgiving , ... 2011.

Mark - Careful you don't soak it too long.

John - I have too much style and class to wear plastic!

hahha. gershy, exactly! right now it's set up in the garage...only nothing is hooked up, so it's just a phony kitchen.

This case reminds old Gershwin about a story. A man told his wife that he was going to take her a romantic place that she had not been to in years. It turned out to be their Kitchen!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm still here, with a sack full of Thanksgiving blessings. Have a great Friday, as we go full speed into the holidays!

Marlene, your behavior was bad long before breaking up, you tried to pass me to Barbara.

Gershwin, why is forbidden fruit always more interesting in plastic bug then allowed fruit in pepper bug?

Milija - Murlene will take your heart, pour oil paint on it, and cast it to the side.
You never know what kind of fruit you are going to get in a pepper bug, or a paper bag for that matter. Guard your heart well my son.

Dji thanks!

I have noticed that some people do not ask questions at all in their posts! I have noticed, Gershwin, I told you!

Dear Gershwin,
I don't know for sure if you have been asked this before but here goes..... How do you keep your teeth so white and your eyes so clear? Also, do you use anti wrinkle sunblock?

gershy, i am shocked at your reply! i don't work in oils, you should know that!!

how come you didn't know i work in acrylics. huh, huh??

looking at how long ter thread started by gene gregory can last, is it possible that maybe, just maybe, the "more serious" topics aren't really all that special?

Mary Ellen - A good question. However, I use a high quality Tooth Paper Paste. I hit the sack early to keep my eyes clear.

Murlene - The Great Gershy knows that you paint with acrylics, but I see in the future that you pour oils on Milija.
As for the 'more serious' topics, remember the famous quote by Oliver Shagnasty. " Serious topics never last, but Scootinpooters make clowns of us all."

I hope this hasn't already been asked,,,,If earth really isn't flat, what is the use of a level? Are we slaves to the bubble?

Dear Gersh.....is it OK with you if I answer Bob Schlake's question? Here goes. The answer is: yes.

nah...we're slaves to horizon lines.

Marlene, too bad you are turning this into a 'serious' topic...........I truly and sincerely believe that we are slaves to the bubble.

We are slaves to horizontal bubbles, and bubble wrap, and bubble gum.

mary ellen, i would NEVER turn this into one of those serious, snooty, stick yer nose up topics!
i love bubbles...and i'lldrink some bubble to that!

oh wait, it's jackie! you sisters are confuzzling me!

Marlene....if it is bad, Mary Ellen said it.....if it is nice, I said it. That's how you can always tell.

kinda like the angel and the devil on my shoulders?

Ladies...... One thing really troubles me. You are beginning to think like me. I understand every word of it.

gershy, obviously your feminine side is well developed.

Mr. Smud, does that bag make your ass look big?

Murlene - I am a man among men who is not afraid to get in touch with feminine side.
Jan - It is not the bag that makes my ass look big. It is due to too many years of mashed potatoes topped with blue bell.

Gershwin, if you want a real treat, go have a look at Jan Piller's gallery of works! Wonderful! Now, about the bag....I don't think that it makes your ass look any bigger than it really is, however, a gentle ironing of that aforementioned bag would definitely remove some of those wrinkles....and then you wouldn't look so much like Ernest Borgnine, but not so much like Joan Rivers, either.

Gershwin do you have formal looking paper bags for special occasions, or different styles depending on your mood or day? I would think it would be quite boring to have a brown one daily but then again Einstein had the same style suit to wear everyday so he didn't have to think about it.

Jackie, don't you mean Ernest Bagnine?

a brown bag is just not formal enough for a black tie affair.

True, Marlene, but I can't imagine Smudgie in a Giftbag, can you? Too ostentatious, gaudy, classless and Hollywoodish for him.

I wonder if he goes to a restaurant ,does he bring his own doggy bag?

when he goes to the grocery store, do they ask paper or plastic?

Does he make a noise when making facial expressions?

When he goes to his office party I bet he doesn't participate in the grab bag because he doesn't want to get hurt.lol

as long as they are not bodily functions noises, it's okay by me.

I have to admit that I am ashamed of all of you.....talking about Gershie like he is not even here!

The Great Gershy has answers for all your questions.
Yes - No - Maybe - Sometime - Yes - Yes - Not tonight - Maybe - Later - Yes.

I do have formal bags when the occasion calls for it. I wear my bag everywhere, except to the bank. When I walk into the bank wearing my sack, they act like I was up to no good! And I don't understand why.

As for noises from the bag, it is most noticeable when me & a lady friend (she also wears a bag) get really passionate. A villolent rustling of paper occures.



By the way - if you would like to see the new Smuddy Award, go to the thread call Mr. Charles Peck.

i think gershy loves grab bag events!!

Gershwin, whatever you do....stay away from shredders! In the words of Confucius...you could 'lose face'.

Yes, I grab some old bag every time I go to the grocery store.

Wow, you have outdone yourself with that award! Your ability to capture likeness is amazing.

Gersh, if somebody offer you to ask a question whould you ask and who would it be and why and what question would it be?

Milija - Marlene would ask me a question, and the question would be 'who will win the next Smuddy Award.'

Ok, I will. Thanks for asking...Will post some nice work...

Let;s get to some more complicated questions: How are you today?

Gershwin,

What happens to your face when YOU cry? Do you have to go have some special treatment to get your bag back to normal, and, do the tears leave tracks?

mary ellen, i'm only guessing, but i bet gershy have a plastic liner in his bag...so when he also has to relieve himself...well...that depends.....

I think you girls have figured it out. I laugh to keep from crying, but when I do, I have a liner to prevent a soggy sack. ; )

Maybe you should try a crate and see if life is better.

and I do want to add a big thank you to my new cyber sister, Marlene, for the 'inside' information! Very useful.

two grandmothers + three frogs is equally how much?

mary-ellen, didja notice that as soon as you called me your cyber sistah, this thread all but died? haha

milija, thx for reviving it but i have no clue. ribbit

Gershwin
Oh mighty one, I was wondering why you do not recycle and use a tight fitting plastic bag instead of the antique paper one ?

mario, gershy is too modest to give it away in something tight fitting!

Your assuming he has something to hide:) I meant just his head, the one on his shoulders.

mario, i have heard that gershy hasa really really big nose....what did you think i was referring to?
lololol

Turns red and walks off :)

Marlene, do you really think that Mario walked off? I'll bet he is still here, listening to everything we say!

jackie..i am counting on him hiding in the corner! if he truly left, this banter is all for naught!!

I think that, if we even tried a little bit, we could make him turn very red. but I don't really want everyone here at FAA to know the real me, so I will try to ACT a little bit refined! However, I might change my mind about my present attitude.

jackie, i just knew we were triplets!
i am a very toned down faa version of myself.

Well my turning red was an attempt to pretend I had sense of correct behavior... that was a lie.

This looks dangerous.
Marlene, you mind telling you accomplice there that you and I are friends :)

Gershwin - oh Mighty One - is your paper bag biodegradeable? If so, I am happy to sit here and wait until your true identity is revealed............

Tezzzzzz....... My bag is taylor made from the highest quality of Italian paper by a designer in Milano. As they say, the sack makes the man. I realize that I am a good looker, but don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Who could hate a man with such fine standards? Tell me, Gershie, do you ever decorate your bag?

Mario: Any friend of Marlene's is a friend of mine. Now, if that doesn't scare you, make you blush, or make you run from the room screaming, nothing will.

Gershy: What brand of toothpaste do you use on those sparklers.

poor mario, now he has to deal with 3 of us!! jackie, mary ellen and i...this is cause for a big oy vey!

gershy, have you ever done lunch deliveries to pick up a little extra on the side?

Yes Murlene, I enjoy picking up a little on the side. Instead of meals on wheels, it is Snacks in Sacks.

that's what i do for my honey, gershy!
he's just been diagnosed with diabetes...so he snacks instead of lunching these days.....

Gershie, do you ever make a freudian slip when ordering ice cream and ask for Manila instead of Vanilla?

Lol @ everyone................ :D

Aha - as you're not going to biodegrade any time soon, any chance if we wait around we might see some tinsel and baubles adorning your rather attractive facial features?????

A real question - if I may .......... how comes dogs and cats eat fairly much the same diet...........yet dogs are always parping (quite noisily in some cases - usually when you have guests for dinner), yet cats never so much as pass the slightest hint of windypops?????

Mary Ellen - I am too slick to make a slip, and besides, I have a memory like one of those large animals..... I can't remember what you call them.

Tezz - All things will pass. Some things being more obvious than others.

Gershie, where I live, a large animal is called a moose. Was that what you meant?

No, ..... I think it has a long nose & tusks.

Oh, that is definitely not a moose. Sounds more like my neighbor! Is it him Jean Onesime Leblanc?

Hey Gersh!!!! How many Sacks do you think the Saints Defense will get vs the Ravens on Sunday ????

I understand now Gershwin, thank you.....Gone With The Wind..................

Is the big animal a walrus wearing a funny mask?

gershy, do you have different sax for sex?

Ted - That would be 3 sacks

Tezz - I don't think so.

Marlene - I only have extra sax for the ..... shall I say homely. The unpleasingly plump. The girls who work part time as a scarecrow. The girls who needed a pork-chop before the dog would play with them. And women from Oklahoma, they are 2-baggers ya know.

Why is it that you feel that the women from Oklahoma have no sacks appeal?

Or - is a 2-bagger a good thing? (She asks, with head bowed, and eyes looking to one side.....)

i think being a 2 bagger is good..you get to take home twice as much food from the restaurant.

A 2-bagger is a girl who is so ugly, you have to put a second bag over her head in case the first one breaks.

Thats what I thought but was not going to say

groan.

The 2 - baggers are mostly Oklahoma girls.

Gershy, please define UGLY

Do you stay away from flammable material? Just curious

Leah...argh ...what happened to your left eye? :-)

How do you get your ideas? I love your paintings