Knickers. the hoover. and me. Well on the philosophy of vacuum cleaners, and monster cleaners as a paradigm of social pal or foe, if it hoovers up dirt and debris, then it does a good job, give it a hug, a pat on the back and a polish with love. , but heed well, a monster hoover needs to be beaten with a stick - If it damages the fabrics and carpet, its a savage cleaner, get out your stick, beat it... and if it leaves real muck untouched, hoovers up your knickers, clothes, notes and valued items - and spits them out everywhere, for others to see and steal, and then hoovers up entire planets, its probably a monster, some alien from hell in guise of a household friend, mere hoover, poor stupour, it lies on your floor, the savage from afar..... elsewhere? bin the monster - do you dare? dispair of fake care.? .. i will just carry on feeding the carpet and see... and see.... watching the carpet, the vacuum cleaner, and little old me... such hoovers are not man's best friend... alien objects or mere savage machines, intended to send us right round the bend. We know that. lol, keep the stick at hand!
edit: but take care, vacuum cleaner may suck to kill lol... or did i mean shoot... its disgusting behaviour for all household service machines. unhuman. programmed with intent, these bastards might be aliens. ufo inventions. does yours fly at night? does it look saucer shaped too? bloody hell man...
edit2: this was parodying Rogers trouserless/pantless and possibly snickerless old coots... the hoover sucks it all up! with a backdrop of the past mad ufo discussion, and walking sticks.... thats real... boom boom.. just in case it read weird. clarity makes things clear.