Abhorrent Abilities
I am sitting in a restaurant, writing this on a napkin. The waitress acknowledged my request for coffee ten minutes ago, and then promptly vanished.
Since early childhood I have gravitated "off the beaten path" toward the peculiar side of human behavior; sensing I was different but not knowing why. I will never forget the fateful day I realized my destiny. My unusual talents (and my curse) came to light when my first grade teacher, Mrs. Mc Grouch, caught me scribbling with my left hand.
"Child of the Devil!" she screamed, snatching my notepad from my desk. In those days, left-handedness was considered a perversion of nature. "This is a right-handed world, young man, and you will never amount to anything unless you change your ways." Emphasizing her point with a stinging whack of a large wooden ruler; she stormed off in a huff, bearing the crumpled remains of the fruits of my labor and leaving me to the ridicule of my classmates. Luckily, she didn't know that my childish drawing of a witch on a broomstick was meant to be a portrait of her. Nor, knowing this, would she have appreciated the childish verse jotted below it. Because of this incident, I vowed to someday be vindicated and justly rewarded for my "abhorrent" abilities.
Over the years I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel to the farthest corners of the globe. I have left the "mark" of my nefarious left hand on table napkins in the finest restaurants throughout the world. With the increase in travel my sketches became bolder, and even sharper wit crept into my narratives. In time I acquired a certain reputation and my graphic delineations attracted the attention of the publishing industry, thus providing a lucrative career while affording me a comfortable livelihood. And, I must admit I owe my success to ill-tempered Mrs. Mc Grouch!
The waitress has finally returned (looking not a day older) and, considering her positioning of the coffee cup, I am reminded once again that this is a right-handed world...
Clif Jackson