Heather,
Have your friend look for a "local" camera club,which will have people with darkrooms still. I wouldn't ship glass negatives anywhere,especially if they are important to family or history. some scanners do have a focusing ability, my old epson did, if I remember correctly and if I had a choice, I'd scann everyone,BEFORE doing anything.
A good camera club will have lots of contacts and will know where and how to get your prints made, but I would try and scan first, just in case...........
Rich