I Need Some Help In The Correction Of A Text

As an example of my digital work, I would like to present the work "Beauty of an Illusion" here. The artwork consists of 88 levels and needed 40 hours to complete. In this video, you will only see the stringing together of the individual levels, but not the entire work process and the design and processing of the individual elements. Nevertheless, a small impression of my artistic method is clear.

Louise,

A+!

Rich

Louise and Rich, many many thanks for your help

As an example of my digital work, I would like to present "Beauty of an Illusion". This artwork consists of 88 layers and took 40 hours to complete. In this video, you will see the final result of melding together all the individual layers, but not the entire process of melding itself. However, I believe you will begin to clearly see my artistic method.

ok, and now what text should I use?

Well, since I am a professional writer, mine of course!
Whichever sounds best to you when you read it out loud or have someone read it to you.

Sorry Louise, I vote for Carolyn's version. I think it's more clear and concise.

Boy,

There goes the A+! I like Carolyn's version too, seems friendlier, but really it's up to you,Franz, which one sounds like you?

I might change this a bit, losing the use of "melding" twice, in one sentence:

"you will see the final result of the "blending" together of all the individual layers, but not the entire process of (the?) melding itself."

Rich

drop "I would like'"

I present    is much stronger.

Actually, to be really picky, I'd change "melding" to "blending" and I would repeat it twice. :-)

Use Carolyn's, as is.

As an example of my digital work, I would like to present the work "Beauty of an Illusion" here. The artwork consists of 88 levels and up to the completion of 40 hours were needed. In this video, they only see the stringing together the individual levels. But not the entire work process and the design and processing of the individual elements. Nevertheless, a small impression of my artistic method is to be clear.

Presenting Franziskus Pfleghart's "Beauty of an Illusion." In this video you will see artwork consisting of up to 88 levels and over 40 man-hours of intensive work to complete. My method consists of building layers and shaping them together as one final image. This video doesn't display the entire process but surely you will get a great impression of my artistic capabilities.

Peggy,

I agree about losing melding, but not using blending twice. And I like Craig's, but would: "My method consists of building layers and combining them together as one final image." and also:

but surely you will leave you with a hint of my artistic capabilities."

Good Luck Franz!

Rich

Great interpretations all, but I would suggest that there's something conditional about the word 'surely' in Craig's and Rich's last paragraph. I would suggest the phrase " but it will certainly give you a good idea of my artistic capabilities". Possibly just a difference between American English and English English though.

Ah, the intricacies of the English language! We've probably thoroughly confused Franziskus by now.

O.K., how about this version? I can't resist...

I would like to present "Beauty of an Illusion" as an example of my digital art. Forty hours of work were needed to complete the 88 layers in this image. Although each step of the process isn't shown due to time limitations, the viewer will gain valuable insight into my artistic methods.

many thanks to you all for your effort. Yes, my english is really limited, so I can not distinguish the subtleties of the language. I imagine once the preliminary youtube video one that you might see how the whole thing is set up.

.

For what it's worth, my favourite is Peggy's second attempt - it sounds more natural and less contrived than the others. On a point of grammar though, the first person singular conditional of the verb 'to like' is "I should like", not "I would like".

corrected version

" I " would have left out the "but" - but that's just my take.

Nice job Franziskus! You are an amazingly talented artist (in my best English)!

I should like or I would like?

He is doing.....something. By posting the video its actually going to happen. I am not an English major but thinking out loud here. Any thoughts?

Really interesting to see your work come together, Franziskus! Thanks for choosing my version. The video works very well.

@ Roy ~ I'm not seeing a "but" in there. Or maybe it's been changed since?

@ Jane ~ "should like" may be grammatically correct, but it sounds unnaturally formal to me and I'll bet it would sound that way to most people.

http://www.engvid.com/could-would-should-modals/

@ Craig ...re: any thoughts

In my 1:44 pm post I suggest drop "I would like'", as "I present" . It is in fact being presented.

Nice job Franziskus -- have you considered narrating one in German -- the European, and German speaking audience is worth considering.



~ Carmen Hathaway

Carmen, most Germans understand English much better than I do. And international is understood to be much more English than German.

Incidentally, here is the work to be found in FAA.

Can't speak for most Germans -- German was my first language & I still enjoy hearing it ;)




~ Carmen Hathaway

My apologies Carmen! I didn't see that one. The English language is art within itself.
@ Franziskus= as you can see English even for native speakers is mastered by a select few.