Fun Game 11

Something about a pie

up in the sky

And rolling some dice

by some gambling lice

and three blind mice

that weren't very nice

Being obsessed with vice

that adds some 'spice'

so what's the price?

Cheap, to entice!

retail has been spliced

it has almost vaporized

Right before our eyes

Welcome to Walmart!

let's order some fries!

Yum!! That ain't no lie!!


-1 credit

You need to detoxify ;-)

and drink green goop?

that makes green poop!

so that's the scoop!

Now I want soup!

soup made from cantaloupe

But broccoli? No soap!

And so, they eloped

and later groped

Then one griped

And had a fight

and complained all night

it was outta sight

It's just not right

to die of fright!

because we're too horrified

seeing the stock-market slide

on-a temporary bear ride

i'd prefer a pony (ride)

that sounds like suicide !

because someone's lacking pride

You'll need a guide

the girl scout cried....

along with some cookies!

for the bunch of rookies

ate by my poochie

who danced the hoochie-coochie

wearing shoes by Gucci

....... (reward for being smoochie!)

I love Luci :)

and Desi too?

how about Mr. Magoo ?

You know I do....

but I do not

want to tie the knot
(using a surplus word)

and complicate the plot

by stirring the pot

while I'm half shot....

and still in shock

Not watching the clock

above the butcher's block

While cooking chicken stock

in the crock

Causing grief and shock

while opening the lock

Chained to the dock

with a large rock

no need to knock

to overcome mental block

and itchy jock

from ants in pants

and poison ivy plants

And so he rants

While buttoning his pants

to pamper his transplants

and begins to dance

Or maybe even prance

unafraid to take a chance

(3 next time)

On landscaping his manse

looking good at first glance

-1 next time :-)

said girlfriend, Nance

from Paris,. France

their secret romance

Never stood a chance

now everyone knows.....

All of their woes

That's how it goes

when removing your clothes......!

You'll pay through the nose

-1 next

then need new clothes

and a pantyhose

hanging on a rose

in a funny pose

with pointed toes

sacreaming "Anything Goes !!"

And it did!

post script: you guys are so damned funny..you put a smile on my face, sorely needed!

carry on....

Into homebase it slid

to spend a few quid

to fish with squid

to feed the kid

Without blowing your lid

Or your twitching eyelid

Like a dancing katydid

The katydid that didn't

Taste like chicken

......neither did the chicken

chicken tasted like fish

something fishy's going on!

Perhaps its the prawn!

aw, now....come on!

You been smokin' the lawn?

-1 next time

From dusk till dawn!

with curtains drawn

Boy, big yawn!

time to move on

Let's go to Saigon

then to the Amazon

What's wrong with Oregon?

they don't know the song



-1 credit

the words are wrong

The chorus' too long

sounding like King Kong

swinging in Hong Kong

wearing a silk sarong

holding his bong

he is very strong

not for long

where is fay wray?

She went ape

over a grape

octagonal in shape

caught on videotape

just before her escape

Bypassing all the red-tape

and green tape, too

And owls saying, "Who?"

hid Red Green's Duct-tape?

it's on the fire-escape

leaving one's mouth agape

use more duct tape

Surely, you jape!

no mary-ellen, i jest!

to jest is best

It passed the test

Said the lingering guest

at King Kong's behest

he knelt and confessed

as for the rest

It's just a request

a plea at best!

It's a plea fest!

or a flea pest

with flights out west

to Tucson, AZ?

With your girlfriend Mona?

And her brother Jonah

who holds a diploma

In herbology from Sedona

now residing in Kona

Sipping a Carona

with a sandwich:balogna

Si, Si. The teléfono.

Listening to Sonny Bono

Sing in a duo







I got you babe


Now that song should be in your mind the rest of the day 8-)

Oh no....not that

I got your cat

Sat on your hat

watching a rat

Peed on the mat

piddled and spat!

Was it the artist-o-cat?

Don't ask about that

it's a spoiled brat

who fell flat

instead of round

actually, elliptical, when found

A high-pitched sound

that annoys a hound

surely did abound

around the town pound

While pawing the ground

and heading southbound

to the Indian mound

far far away

across the bay

on the way

He went astray

...stole a red Chevrolet.....

It made his day

Then he said, "Hey...

that's just my way!!"

What can I say?

it's a helluva day!

in a windy way

just blows me away

Through clouds so gray

my gazebo flew away

Again? Quite a spin!

In one big swing!

new meaning to 'fling'

Ripped to shreds

all over flower beds!!!

The pink or reds?

"Them all", she said

Are they now dead?

staring tears shed

over freshly baked bread

remembering what she read

the evening they wed

Not while in bed

at the market instead

He had to be fed

his supper in bed

Her libido was dead

Sad, sad love misled

makes her so upset

that she will forget

she won the bet

Viagra is the prize

greatly increasing his size

and after four hours.....

he still has powers

Opps! He best shower!

Oops! He best shower!

with a scented flower

and lots of waterpower

Or all will sour

...welcome Dr. Bauer

It lasted 6 hours

with ears like cauliflower

My! How so dour.

said the cauliflower to

her new husband who

Old Lady in Shoe

Whose mood was blue

from sniffing glue

Then crying "boo hoo!"

and playing peekaboo

wearing one shoe

dancin inda mornin dew

and brilliant sunshine, too

enjoying a fine brew

drinking from th'other shoe!

Ignoring the midnight curfew

dancing in a tutu

she's thinking of VooDoo

and wearing a muumuu

which causes a hullabaloo

Then tips the canoe

into the water

Then grabbing her daughter

before the shark caught 'er

(I had one word owing from the last post)

N'Treated her like chowder

ground her to powder

(this is starting to get a bit too gory for my delicate sensitivities...)

as she yelled louder

they began to crowd her

(3 next time)

And her lover flounder

got rounder and rounder

until he exploded

and lifelessly floated

in the murky sea.

Meanwhile...back at-the ranch...

The cattle were restless

and needed anti depressants

but got lavender essence

Thus learning their lessons

in delicatessens

(whoa....I can have 6 next time.....)

in twenty two sessions

:-) I'm looking forward to it, Jackie :-)

learning to listen to other's confessions

That's a profession

Jackie was ona mission

Such an easy decision

Resulted in a division

Followed by a multiplication

Of this hilarious situation

which doesn't need explanation

and needs no inflation

Due to heightened anticipation

of mutual collaboration

And intense concentration

during an emergency operation

To relieve constipation

who could follow that???

BATMAN - in no time flat.....

(3 next time)

where's Robin?

He's out joggin.

clearing his noggin

pulling a toboggan

up an Alp

eating an apple

and dragging his alpenhorn

He looks so forlorn.

As he did mourn

all tattered and torn

Ragged and worn

wished never was born

Into club...he was sworn




-1 credit

To only eat corn

which came out whole

a fact....so droll

it amused the troll

Which ate the roll

made of charcoal

His stomach was full

that ain't no bull

if it's made of wool

(using my leftover word)

Embellished with tulle

designed by a mule

Worn by a fool

spun on a spool

what an old-fashioned tool !

I think it's cool!

It's considered a jewel

consisting of fossilized fuel

and a spirited duel

Between a vampire n'ghoul

That sounds so cruel

not in dracula school!

Dracula makes me drool....

Drooling's forbidden, new rule!

only blood letting

isn't that too brutal ?

Absolutely! And futile

licked by a poodle

and then he skadoodled

and then he skadoodled...twice, apparently.

too many Flintstones vitamins.......

vitamins, really? lol

skadoodling twice requires them

also keeps you trim

That applies to him

His nickname is slim.

real name is Ibrahim

lives in a kibbutzim

with Gunga Din

the finest man I knew

(-1 next time)

He rates among few

as a mere scoundrel

Or maybe a ne'er-do-well

who likes to sell

a horse named Nell

Pulled from the well

and stinks like hell

with saliva like gel

that would ring your bell

(3 next time)

and make you swell

like pregnant TinkerBell

no fairy dust for protection?

it's for an erection

richard just typed erection

He probably meant election

That's HARD to say

Alas, do you stray

but never on Sunday

so Saturday's ok?

ok lets play

What did you say?

You're hard to understand

Your voice should expand

and heard in hinterland

Backed by a band

while given a hand

setting up the stand

On the tropical sand


(Going to see Jackie tomorrow)

of hawaii's finest place
Have fun my sistahs!

Puttin on a happy face

(Picking up two other sisters on our way, Marlene, you could join us! )

enjoying each others' company

you're place or mine

your's would be fine....

Hang out a sign

not now, I'm online

gotta show some spine

and bring some wine

then we can dine

and spend some time

on a dime

Don't be so cheap

in your old Jeep

looking like a creep

salvaged from the deep

Thrown on the heap

that was very steep

She didn't utter a peep


(-1 next)

but sounded like a bleep
(1 from my surplus)

so no-one could sleep

while lovers leap

except Meryl Streep

Reserving her seat

for her lover Pete

And for Pete's sake

eat a cake

and a raw steak

By the lake

which is a mistake

but easy to fake

and nothing to make

Me decide to foresake

the terribly bad bellyache

after doing the funky-chicken

during a quake

which forced a rattlesnake

to rattle its snake

on the rear end

What snake! Shake n Bake

or do the hokey-pokey.

but stay low-key

While on bended knee

forget the TV

it's way too sloppy

back to the snake....

living on the lake

with his BFF Jake

who is a sheik

bit of a flake

who likes to shake

rattle and roll

Finally taking it's toll

on the striptease pole

dancing to Nat King Cole


-1credit

displaying his magnificent mole

that's usually hidden..

but Unforgettable

ha ha ha christine!

And sometimes quite regrettable

like drunken sailor surprises

which are always incredible

and quite predictable

"i love mom" anchor....

she is so hospitable

and her cookies, incredible!

if toothless.....inedible

He could always nibble

regarding cookies....don't quibble

(Mary Ellen.....glad that you made it home safely!)

don't taste like kibble

Ah, that's just drivel

Dont start to snivvle!

or nivel the swivel

Let's start out level

before we travel

and hit the gravel

with our walkin' shoes

Going where we choose

how can we lose?

shouldn't we have booze?

(I must have had a double)

just follow the clues....

left by a moose

Pulling a red caboose

train on the loose

it wasn't in use

There is no excuse

for this alcohol abuse

don't be so obtuse

just like all news

about dangerous kangaroos

in wobbly canoes

Who kickbox with shoes

a bunch of cockatoos

catching some views

and singing the blues

They made the news

but not the gnus

they just were silent

and remaining non-violent

in their own environment

Reeking of peppermint

a most unfortunate detriment

something they did lament

but friendships to cement

made them extremely content

as it was meant

to be a portent

and worthy opponent

And so they went

All crooked and bent

into the circus tent

strong emotions well pent

over already-spent tent rent

They need Clark Kent

with the steel he bent


-1 credit

often making a dent

Though it wasn't meant

according to Uncle Brent

To specify monies lent

and payments sent

spent cent by cent

The money just went

Right down the drain

New sales needed again

To buy a hen

And a frying pan

& Spam in a can

now that's a grand-slam!

Even better than ham

smothered in jam

looks bad in cardiogram

taken on Hoover Dam

with a large lamb

in the foreground

next to the bloodhound

owned by a Boy Scout

with a long snout

who's try to pout

because he ate sauerkraut

With knockwurst, no doubt

and a flatulence bout

Then a bout with gout

Oh, such suffering throughout

He deserved it, the lout!

(-1 next time)

He is so rude

a bonafide bad attitude

Thoughts are crude

He should be sued

Instead of wooed

that's way too skewed

it started a feud

which needs to be reviewed

(-1 next time)

the content is lewd

and pretty rude

Involving a nude

WHAT? A nude dude?

Yup...a true-blue-nude-dude!

now stop being crude ;)

But that's refined crude 8-)

but - does it protrude?

For a brief interlude?

Ladies! Be good!

Think they could?

Say why we should....

Good? That's understood

The sisters are punny!

We are that, hunny!

and outrageoulsy funny!

only when it's sunny

never when it's cold

with no one to hold

That's when we fold

to avoid collecting mold

on our rolling stones...........

And ice cream cones

made from wish bones

And components of cellphones

fused to military drones

Insulated with ole cornpones

(I guess they needed double thickness of insulaion)

Wearing insulated headphones

bought using student loans

Applied for by clones

using old fashioned microphones

that rattle like bones

of old Granny Jones

Choosing her ringtones

from little tinny xylophones

played by famous gnomes

On their Silvertones

In little mushroom homes

and oozing with groans

saying, "Leave me alone!"

"I'M ON THE PHONE"

Exercising the old jawbone

watch out for TMJ

TMJ is nas-tay

Make it go away

and not return Saturday!

For that, I'd pay!

tomorrow and today !

we are here to play

-1 next post

So play all day

that's what I say

pave the way

Play in the hay?

in the cyber cafe

It finally opened today

I'm on my way!

Please, let me pay!

hip hip hooray!

You pay, I stay

Settled. Dinner's on Mary-ellen!

starting prosciutto and melon


(marlene, you can change your menu from prosciutto)

Please no melon felons

NO HAM, I'm yellin'

that menu fell in

OK - let's have Kraft-Dinner

That is a winner

Won't make us thinner....

Call me a sinner!

And a big winner!

Now, where's my cheque?

$1? What the heck?

Oh, i'm a wreck

You look like Shrek!!!!!

with a green turtleneck

going to Georgia Tech

To make mock-turtle soup

never mock a turtle