The meaning of 'HEALING START' : Domestic Abuse...My Story.
I know that for some, this is a subject that is not easily approached. That said, it is a subject that touches the lives of so many. It touches family, friends and neighbors of each person in the world. This is by far a Global issue and because of the times we live in, there is no end to the abuse… But, we as individuals have the right to make choices that will free us from the bondage of being victims of this horrible human legacy.
The end of abuse starts with the beginning of self worth and self love. It also has a lot to do with the attitude we foster towards others. Are we loving and kind to others and in return do we demand the same for ourselves?
I remained a victim for thirty years of my life. From the tender age of eighteen I was married to a man that needed to belittle me, punch me, kick me, and much more, taking any joy I could find in my life and turning it into a heartache.
I made excuses for not leaving, being so young. Went straight from dad and moms house to my husbands house. We had three beautiful children together and I spent so much time attempting to shield them and protect them from his abuse. This was not even possible, when they had to be subject to his never-ending attempt to build himself up by tearing down everyone around him.
I never had the opportunity to develop any of the many things I aspired to accomplish in my lifetime. My world was controlled by my husband, who made it his mission to shoot down or sabotage any and all efforts I would make to develop my creativity and make something for myself. Instead he kept me under his thumb, disguising his control as needs. He needed me to help him build his dreams, and he disguised them as 'our dreams', but of course, no matter what I did to help him along the way, he never found it in his heart to acknowledge the effort and love I put into helping him succeed. Twenty eight years into the marriage he looked at me and boldly stated 'you have never done anything for this family, NEVER!' I don't know what shocked me the most, the fact that he really believed what he was saying, or that I was shocked that he felt that way.
What saved me? For me it was a process. I was blessed with accurate knowledge that brought me up close to our creator. With this knowledge came strength…the strength to learn to love who I was…the strength to open my heart up to my wonderful friends that did not judge me for my choices but were there for me, helping me to gain the confidence and faith that I would ultimately need to walk away, without ever looking back. It has been a hard road. Life throws us curves which make it even harder to escape. I lost my firstborn child, my only son, three days before he turned twenty two. He was killed in an accident at his new job that he had only been at for three weeks. He left behind a fifteen day old baby girl and all of our hearts were crushed. The last time I had the opportunity to spend time with my son was a month and a half before he was killed. He spent ten days with me at my parents home because my dad had just passed away.
Life is never too late. Life will always move forward, no matter if we choose to be a victim or NOT be a victim anymore.
I am healing and so is my eleven and twenty-four year old daughters. We are on our way through doors that are open with the sunlight shinning brightly, inviting us into the warmth of being loved by ourselves, by our creator and by our many dear friends that stand by us.
I hope you love the Photographs and I hope you share them with others who need sunshine and beauty in their lives as well.