The Chronicles of Myassa - Volume One is a piece of digital artwork by Jim Williams which was uploaded on August 5th, 2015.
Title
The Chronicles of Myassa - Volume One
Artist
Jim Williams
Medium
Digital Art - Photo-pixels
Description
INTRODUCTION TO VOLUME ONE
WELCOME TO THE WACKS' MUSEUM
When asked to write this introduction to ''He Has Never Lied to YOU!, The Chronicles of Myassa'' by The Mayor and Y.A. Duck? I was taken completely by surprise. Partly because I'd have thought they would ask that ditzy little Myassa Lifestyle Critic dweeb, Emanuella H. Kruiken-Feist, to do it. Mostly it was because I couldn't believe these idiots were actually writing a book. But if they want me to I'll be glad to write an intro because, as The Mayor's Office Goddess and proofreader, I'm the only one who will read this introduction before it's published. Oh, boy! And I seriously doubt that anyone with even a smattering of intelligence will read it after publication either, so KEEP READING.
On the cover it says that Y.A. Duck? transcribed this steaming pile of Buttox bullturds and, as far as they will ever know, that's true. But, as I know and you're about to discover, I had to rewrite the entire load of incomprehensible crap. It's almost comprehensible crap now. In their favors, I agree that Myassa really is as ridiculous as this book presents it. Just KEEP READING and you'll see.
I am rightly praised for my accomplishments in the Myassa Founders Day Championship. Again. I censored ... I edited all the stupid cheating accusation parts out and take you right to the dirt. You'll see the upside for PMS and how to get it. Military secrets are blasted wide open. Visit with Bishop ''Glutes'' at Our Lady of Perpetual Sacred Collateral Damage Rectory, Cathedral, and Girls' School. When you finish, you may want to call the Tipsy Taxi to deliver you to the Myassa Liquors Bar & Grill/Myassa Town Hall Building and take sacrament at the Myassa First Church of Beer Almighty. Hang around for the weekly Biblical Misinterpretation Committee meeting. See history made up on FAUX NEWS every day! Play Ball! Whip up some pancakes and get the baccalaureate degree of your dreams and KEEP READING.
The stories here are not presented chronologically. Myassa is not chronological, nor is it specifically geographical, just ''north Florida''. You can't touch it but you can taste it. It's nowhere but you can always get there from here. You never see it coming and you never have to leave. You won't be alone because Myassa is open all night, every night. You unlock this door with the Key to Myassa. Beyond it is another demention: a demention of stupid, a demention of sight gags, a demention of mind farts. You're moving into a land both shallow and sophomoric, of alt history and ironies. You've just crossed over into... the Myassa Zone. ''Where You're Past Is Our Future.''
Most of the images, especially the old ones, were found online without attributions. We wish to express our appreciation for the artists/photographers and assure them that this is not a project for monetary gain but it would be greatly appreciated if anyone connected with these images would help us to defray our losses in the creation of this first volume of THE CHRONICLES OF MYASSA and all which follow.
KEEP READING
Lyda Dzgoldynzscheyzes, Office Goddess, winner of six Golden Booties.
AS OF AUGUST 5, 2015, AVAILABLE FOR FREE SIMPLY BY REQUESTING ONE AND SENDING ME YOUR MAILING ADDRESS ON FAA EMAIL.
Follow the continuing adventures of The Mayor in Myassa:
< http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/wacks-museum.html?tab=artworkgalleries&artworkgalleryid=536130 >
Uploaded
August 5th, 2015
More from Jim Williams
Comments (14)
Pamela Iris Harden
Just how intoxicated do I need to be before reading??? Are there lots of pictures to eessplain it all? Looking forward to it, Jim! :-)
Jim Williams replied:
It is copiously illustrated well beyond what is on FAA. It is enough by itself to make the room or your head spin. Keep one foot on the floor. Thanks, Pamela.
John Malone
Love your new works Jim! L/F Your descriptions continue to entertain my "funny bone"
Jim Williams replied:
Thanks, John. I depend upon the kindness of strangers. The stranger the better.
Michael Dillon
Is your description available in paperback?
Jim Williams replied:
Thanks for asking. Actually, the whole damned book is available only in paperback, Michael. If you'd like one I'll email you my address for an SASE. It will fit in a 6"X9" USPS "document" envelope.
Holly Carmichael
LMAO! F/L
Jim Williams replied:
Careful. You might need it someday. Thank you, Holly, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Jim Williams
Thank you for submitting this story to TELL TALL TALES group. It has been featured. l, f, TTT
Guy Pettingell
Please be aware that all the accusations in this book are fictitious, I was never there, the chickens were like that when I found them & Lyda's booty was red when I left, not golden as this ridiculous book suggests. You will be hearing from my liar in due course, until then kindly desist. L/f
Jim Williams replied:
Actually, if you had read the EULA carefully you'd have found something somewhere in 2 point font which requires you to relinquish the privilege of civil, legal, and tennis courts and requires psychiatric care if you bother us with the obvious. Be warned! And half of the lies aren't true.