Sometimes It Is

"ALL IS NOT LOST"...a phrase usually recited to us when we're on the verge of giving up hope about...well, about anything. We either say it silently to ourselves as a mantra, or we hear it from someone while they either give us a comforting, warm look, or a comforting, warm pat on the back - sometimes they give them both, at the same damned time.

I say "ALL IS NOT LOST" to myself often, when working in pen, and accidentally stroke an errant line - or because the pen decides to poop out a glob of ink out of nowhere. I tell myself that to get through, to force myself to make something out of nothing. I tell myself that so that I don't end up with sketch pad after sketch pad populated with more f'ups than successes. I tell myself that until I believe it and until I am successful in figuring out a way to make the mistake work. When you do that consistently for some time, tell yourself that all is not lost, and make the errors work you forget one thing that hold just as true:

SOMETIMES IT IS...

Sometimes you lose the creation to a fuck up so grand, that you cannot salvage the work. Sometimes all is lost, irretrievably, irrevocably lost and you have to deal with that. Dealing with it, is not the same as allowing it to consume you and having you questioning your abilities. SOMETIMES IT IS, sometimes all is lost and I honestly believe those moment exist for the sole purpose of keeping you humble. It's sometimes needed so that you don't even let the high horse sidle up next to you, because you may be tempted to put your foot in the stirrup and get on. It is the high horse that you put your idols on, when they display flawless creation after flawless creation and you start to convince yourself that they must NEVER make a mistake. I promise you that I am 95% certain that all of them do. Levels of expertise may ensure that there are substantially larger gaps in between occurrences, but rest assured - there ARE occurrences.

ALL IS NOT LOST - tell yourself this so that you push past your doubts, past any incessant subconscious whining about "i caaaaaaaaaaaaaan't"...tell yourself this so that your creative wheels spin ways to camouflage, and add, and change perspective, so that the mistake is barely noticeable, if at all. Then, once you've done EVERYTHING YOU CAN POSSIBLY THINK OF to save your creation...and it's STILL atrocious to you, it STILL sucks sloth balls...say to yourself...SOMETIMES IT IS. Then throw that shit away, and begin anew. It's what the newest and the most veteran of us do.

Note: The SOMETIMES IT IS piece is not pictured, it was of Lil Kim and I f'd it up ROYALLY - I shall create a bonfire from it. The ALL IS NOT LOST piece of Nicolas Cage IS pictured because some things started going wrong, I pushed past, and salvaged it. Yay me! ;)


DISCLAIMER: My blogs are created during bursts of inspiration, please excuse any typos and grammatical errors....I will hopefully make the time to return and clean them up.