My personal faith testimony

My Faith Testimony

As far back as I remember, I believed in God, his supernatural powers and miracles. I heard a pastor when I was 12 who said you had to say a sinner’s pray, so I did. In 1996, after my sister died, I was baptized. I have prayed every day since was five. I thought if I died before I asked for forgiveness for my most recent sin, that there was a possibility that I would go to hell for my last sin, so I prayed all the time. I felt I always needed forgiveness for something.

In 2012, as I was driving in my car one night, a familiar voice came on the station as I was flipping through channels. I never leave it on the same station too long. I bounce around from one station to another. I get bored easily. It has to be interesting for me to pay attention or my mind will wonder. Dr. Adrian Rogers had baptized me in Memphis. He was preaching about being lukewarm. I felt really convicted. Gosh, I guess you could call me lukewarm. I was a secret Christian. Could anyone really tell that I was a Christian? Did I really act like one? No one knew that I prayed constantly.
Following that day, on a Sunday morning, my pastor tells a story and as he was telling it, I saw tears fill his eyes. I have always had a very sensitive heart so naturally just seeing tears fill his eyes, made my eyes fill with tears. He tells of a church he pastored when he was younger. There
was a little girl that came to church with her aunt. That little girl had been abused by her father. She was only about 5 or 6 years old and had long blonde hair. One day, she came up to him and gave him a piece of paper with crayon scribbles on it. It looked like a gorilla and some other scribbles around it. He said, baby, “What is this?” She said, “That’s you”, Pastor Keith. That’s when the water filled his eyes in front of us. She
explained the picture to him. He said, “She was thanking me for telling her about Jesus.” He said that is his favorite picture and is still in his office today. That is not just crayon scribbles to him. He is going to get rubies or jewels in his crown because he was able to lead her to know Jesus.
I thought to myself, “I’m not going to have any jewels”, and I like sparkly stuff. I need to be bedazzled, too! But how would I get any jewels or even a crown for that matter? I’m a lukewarm secret Christian. Who even knows I am a Christian, but my closest family and friends. What good fruit do I have, if any? I want to sparkle. I want to stand before the Lord and He be proud of me and not scold me. My heart cried and I began to pray, “Lord, I want to do something for you.” What do you want me to do? Just tell me, show me. I will do it. Because of that girl who had been abused
so many years ago I had wanted to sparkle for Jesus. You see, even though she was abused, God turned that around for the good of His Kingdom. Who could ever see a reason or purpose in something so horrible and evil? The devil obviously had his hand in that situation. The Lord turned all the darkness into beautiful colors. I can just see her standing before the Lord one day getting her jewels in her crown. She has no idea the people who have been affected by her pain. Just her little piece of art had touched me and I haven’t even seen it. It was inspiring. She is going to be sparkling.
The story had ignited fire in me to go out and get some jewels. I was no longer in the lukewarm category. I wanted to be on fire.
My family and I were baptized in June 2013 at the Jordan River near where we live with several other members of our church by Pastor Keith Thrash.
I had no idea what I was supposed to do, but I continued to ask the Lord to show me and use me. I didn’t feel I had any talents.
What am I supposed to do, wear some Jesus T- shirts, get some Jesus bumper stickers or one of those fish symbols maybe? I can’t really see myself standing on a corner preaching to people, or even teaching a Sunday school class for that matter. That’s not me. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that, nor would I be good at it. I’m not sure what God would want me to do, but I’m ready and willing.
Things got real interesting after that. I’m working on finishing more of my stories sharing my pain and dark places I’ve been through my whole life. I hope to encourage others who have dealt with grief from losing someone they love.
God Bless