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I feel like at this point its worth a shot to put a panda in the White House

Krista May

Blog #7 of 7

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October 26th, 2014 - 02:02 AM

I feel like at this point its worth a shot to put a panda in the White House

You named your baby Linda? Does she smoke?
Pizza always thinks I'm pretty.
Then Goldilocks said "This basement is too musty" But she had to deal with the musty basement because welcome to the real world, Goldy.
A car alarm but for when you don't stop talking
Accidentally just waved at someone who was waving at the person behind me, so now I'll just play it off by casually lighting myself on fire.
If someone catches me staring at them, I keep things from getting weird by holding eye contact and aggressively licking my lips.
If you're stuck in the wild, rub two mozzarella sticks together to start a pizza.
I've been pronouncing 'hospice' like a cologne for prostitutes this whole time
i'm not gonna diss people on the internet because destiny's child taught me better than that
Once again I've eaten a financially irresponsible amount of chocolate.
Don't mean to brag, but there are TWO Taco Bells within walking distance from my house, I'm driving to one now.
Historically, people didn't smile in photographs during the 1800's mostly because the cheesy gordita crunch hadn't been invented yet.
I'm Fine: A Guide to Lying
Just once I'd like our phones to worry about us dying.
I hate it when I think I'm buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they're just REGULAR donuts.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
if I ever saw a squirrel wear the top of an acorn as a hat, my heart would just explode.

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