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Evolution of my Creativity after a Traumatic Accident

Nancy Rynes

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February 8th, 2016 - 05:36 PM

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Evolution of my Creativity after a Traumatic Accident

Somewhere on social media, someone asked me about my artistic abilities, whether they are recent (after my near-death experience...NDE) or if I was always this way. I couldn't comment on her question at the time, so here's the answer:

I've been drawing since I was very young (maybe 5 years old). I started by drawing animals: horses mostly, but also deer, fox, dogs, chickens, whatever I saw in person or in magazines. I've been animal-crazy my whole life, actually, so it's no surprise they were my first subject matter.

I began to learn "real" painting when I was 17, then went to art school for a couple of years, and finally off to University and grad school for my geology education. I continued to paint through my 20s, 30s, and early 40s, but I didn't take it seriously and wasn't terribly "creative" with it. What I mean by that is that I was often more adept at scientific illustration and copying what I saw or photographed, rather than inventing a completely new concept. But that is how we're taught if we go through a traditional art school as I had, or work as an archaeological artist (as I had also done for a time).

In the traditional art school that I attended, we learned to paint what we saw, but not to invent or be strongly creative. Individual expression or style were not encouraged. Traditional art schools are often very good at teaching the craft or techniques of art, as they should be, but they often fail the students by not showing them how to give voice to their own unique, creative spirit. But that's a subject for another blog, or a book!

I had my moments of unbridled creativity where I let my spirit soar, but they didn't last very long.

I think I simply didn't know what to do with it, what the purpose was of my art at that time, so I'd go back to doing mostly copy work.

Since my accident and NDE, things have changed considerably. My skills at the craft of painting have improved a lot, and I think my style has evolved a bit too. But both my unique creativity and desire to paint have skyrocketed. I actually *need* to paint, and in new, different ways. I am no longer content with just being a copyist...fresh, new concepts are coming to me pretty much continuously. It's as if the creative floodgates opened up!

What happened? What changed?

I'm not exactly sure. On a purely physical level, I know my traumatic brain injury (TBI) strongly affected my left frontal lobe, thought to be the center of language and analytical thinking. And sure enough, after my accident, I had a lot of trouble with reading, math, remembering names, spoken language, words in general, and computer programming. I was also a strongly verbal thinker prior to my accident. Now I think mostly in pictures and concepts and have to translate those into words so that I can communicate with other people. Perhaps the brain injury itself had something to do with change in the way I created art.

On a more spiritual level, though, I think that being put directly in touch with my creative Source/God/Spirit during my death on the operating table deeply changed me, too. How could it not? Beauty and love beyond measure, communication so deep and meaningful that it couldn't be translated into words, and being accepted and celebrated without question for simply who and what I was both as a human and a soul. It changed me, and for that I am grateful.

And perhaps death allowed me to be fearless, too, to no longer worry about what others might think. I suspect this is where recent pieces like "Inyan" came from: becoming a more fearlessly creative, conceptual, spiritual person, seeing connections rather than separation.

I still do traditional work, but my style is evolving into something more contemporary, more imaginative, and incorporating more of the concepts I learned during my NDE.

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