EveryThing Is Not Better The Second Time Around

I was out of work for two months to recover from a hernia operation . One day while I was walking in Valley Forge park, I met a revolution war reenactor who was sitting at a table next to a cabin. He was explaining to visitors what methods of medicine that were used in the continental army during the revolutionary war.
After the crowd of visitors walked away, I started a conversation with the reenactor.
In the opening conversation I share with him about my time in the military as a combat medic. I then had mentioned that I was out of work on short term disability do to a hernia operation.
He told me that he has had five hernias in his life ,and one time he had a double hernia.
He said that when He had the double Hernia, it had pinched off his lower blow so he could not defecate. His solid body waste ended up coming out of his mouth in liquid form.
So I told him when life hands you lemons,you should make leomon. With all that shit coming out of your mouth you should have ran for political office.
I asked him, did your wife ask you to take breath mint before she allowed you to kiss her ?
If she did , did you ask her why? Can't she stand the smell of her own cooking?

Written by Stephen J. Vattimo
October 18,2014

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