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Choosing to find beauty

Mary Cooney

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May 21st, 2015 - 02:14 PM

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Choosing to find beauty

Facing the Darkness
There is a lot of talk about depression lately, the reality of it and how to deal with it. As an “expert” on the subject, someone who has been there as well as watched a loved one there, I would like to share my perspective.
Depression is real Face it, life can be depressing! But where does it come from? Is it purely physical? Is medicine enough to deal with it? Or is it more spiritual than physical? Can they even be separated? Take menopause for example, an emotional, “spiritual” journey that is nevertheless a very physical reality. I can take a pill that will mask all the symptoms but in 10-20-30 years, when I want to get off that pill, the symptoms return like a burst dam. Maybe there is a natural rhythm to my body’s function that I just need to roll with?
“What if” these trials and testings were just that? Testings;- to see where we truly put our trust? Does God allow difficulties into our lives? Is He sovereign over the good and the bad? Might He just have deeper things to show me as I lay on that gurney? When I dwell in a black hole, is He really there as He promised? Or is it all a lie?
I do not wish to condemn others choices for dealing with “mental illness” as issues of the mind are termed. I don’t doubt there are chemical imbalances that cause serious disruption and can be helped with medication. I would like to address the more common, very real emotions all of us have. I don’t think the root issue of common depression is solved by taking a pill. The symptoms can be masked, but the root remains. I watched my mother take pills for depression for forty years. It didn’t stop her from coming to the point of suicide every five years.
Breathe, Hope
For the child of God there is hope. We are not left abandoned. God has given us tools in addition to His presence. What if my depression is an opportunity to choose trust-choose faith- choose to believe in Hope?
When the blackness descends and we are left with NOTHING but the darkness-we are desolate-alone in the pain and despair. We hang our heads, we cover our faces and the desire to give up overwhelms.
If, in that moment we can just take one breathe. Stop and breathe. Corral those thoughts for one second and remember something true—Who sits with me in that dark place? Who holds me in the darkness? Who loves me so much the tears run down His face? What is He demanding of me in that moment? Nothing. No condemnation—no expectation. He is happy to just hold me.
So I turn my head and hide it in His arms. Let the darkness stay as long as it wants. If I have Jesus, it is enough, I am content.
That is step one. Not a step, but a sigh. Rest in His love—wallow in it. He is with you, it is enough.
Pushing back the darkness
If you are so fortunate as to sense the darkness descending, there are steps you can take to keep it at bay. Ask the Lord,( the Holy Spirit is your teacher after all)- He will have other suggestions specific to your needs.
Take those thoughts captive. Ask the Lord to show you what your triggers are. For example, why do I overreact so much when someone says or does____? Usually there is a lie we have believed hiding behind that sort of thing. If we can get it out, let the light of truth shine on it, then we can begin to fight back. This requires humility. It can be embarrassing to realize we have believed an untruth. That’s ok. At this point don’t let pride be the bringer of darkness! Remember, our Father does not condemn. He holds out His arms and forgives. It is enough.
Ask the Lord to make you aware when your thoughts are turning down a wrong path.
Be ProActive. Either before the darkness descends or once it lifts enough for you to move, be proactive. God created us to live in community—call someone. (I confess this is the hardest thing for me to do.) But if Jesus’ love holds me, redeems me and sustains me- I can take one step in the direction of faith and trust.
• Praise. Listen to Christian music. I have sometimes found that just listening isn’t always enough. I need to make the music. Even if it’s in a monotone at first. I find it’s like saying to the enemy, “you will not win, you will not win, you will not win.” I choose to look to my heavenly Father. I choose to be thankful for something today. I choose to sing, “My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus blood and righteousness.”
• Take a walk. Even that first walk just around the block can often break the pattern. Soon you’ll be walking further.
• Breathe the air. Watch the trees grow.
• Look up. Where does your help come from? Not the hills. Rather from the Maker of the hills. (Have you noticed how amazing tress are? And did you ever wonder why God made so many birds? ) Fix your eyes on Jesus.
• Find a true thing. Who loves you? Who paid the ultimate price to ransom you?
• Count your blessings. Find things you are thankful for.
• Pray scripture. Beth Moore says praying scripture is like taking two sticks of dynamite-prayer and the Word, and getting double the power!
• Memorize Scripture. This is a super, mind cleansing activity. Don’t believe the lie that says you can’t. So what! Maybe you can’t, but you can try! With every effort you will grow stronger. (I like to sing the verses, it makes it easier for my feeble mind to concentrate. You can use nursery rhyme tunes if you like!)
Develop good habits while you can.
• Spiritual habits- Every single day I open God’s Word to me. Every single day He meets me and loves me—whether I notice or not.
• Physical habits- exercise, eating right—being careful what you feed your mind and your body.
• Be a part of something outside yourself. Be committed to worship, serve and live in community with a body of believers. Be a part of a small group where you open the word together, love each other and hold one another accountable.

When we are occupied with these things the lies have much less chance of finding a foothold in our hearts.

There is so much more that I could say. For many of us this is a lifetime journey of pushing back the darkness. But it is a journey we do not take alone. Jesus died so the darkness would not win. He walks with us every step of the way. He has conquered the darkness, together we can hold it back. God has gifted us with all we need. “For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:4,5, I will choose to dwell in the truth of who God is and His love for me.
Look up. He’s right there.

Today this came up in my bible reading. What a wonderful Savior we have.

O LORD, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, LORD.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
21 O LORD, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you, (and hinders me)
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Psalm 139

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